I took a herbal sleeping pill last night at around 11 pm. I probably fell asleep within half an hour to forty-five minutes, (record time for me!)
I awoke at 6:30 am. I had at least 7 hours of uninterrupted sleep!
I feel great!
But I'm still never drinking again!
I'm able to eat without wanting to puke. My migraine has been reduced to almost no pain at all.
A four day long hangover... I never knew it existed. Except for alcoholics of course.
Now it's time for a new headache!
I get to clean up after my party that happened five days ago! Hurray!
My lazy boyfriend didn't do much to clean the house up. Although, I have to say:
- he did wait on me hand and foot
- make my meals, (that I never ate)
- get me water, (with lemon)
- give impromptu back rubs
He did everything but wipe my ass and blow my nose. For that I am thankful. Not the wiping of the ass bit, but I mean, everything else he did. I'm grateful for that!
Every dish in the house is dirty with stuck on food and snotty tissues cover the entire living room area. All my plastic drinking cups from the party are everywhere. The recycling bin is over flowing and I'm pretty sure Dave hasn't cleaned the kitty litter in a week. Kitties shredded some paper towel, and one of my cats swallowed some plastic that goes around tins of beer and puked it up. The other cat pissed in my foil baking dishes.
This is going to be a fun day! It would probably be more fun drunk, but alas, I'm never drinking again. I'm going to start wearing an AA badge or something to show the world who I am: Sober as Fuck!
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Post Birthday Post
I'm never drinking again, ever. Seriously, am I being punished? It doesn't matter because I pledge to never abuse alcohol again!
The party was really fun. I drank Sutter Home White Zinfandel along with Jose Cuervo. I became so hammered, there are parts of the night that are complete black holes. Normally, when I get all wasted, I remember most of what happened, but there are huge chunks of time that have completely vanished from memory. That's scary.
To have no recollection, not even in the slightest is so terrible, and four days later, I'm still paying for it. I will continue to pay for it for the rest of the week it seems.
Sunday morning I woke up hungover, which is to be expected of course. I relaxed, drank water, had two very good meals. I was feeling pretty blah, but nothing out of the ordinary.
The next day, I have a fever. I'm getting hot and cold flashes. I can't sleep, I can't eat, I'm so dehydrated, I drank glass after glass of water and never had to pee afterwards because my body just soaked it all up.
I felt like total shit.
The next day it was the same thing. My ears were ringing, I had a migrain.
Today I went to the walk-in and explained how I was binge drinking and all my symptoms. The doc said that I must have picked up a virus and there's nothing I can do but wait it out and get lots of rest.
The doc wouldn't prescribe me anything for the migrains because I wasn't a regular patient. I think that's bullshit. I need something... I feel terrible!
If I'm not better over the weekend, I should get my blood count checked. I don't know what that means, but something's going to be getting checked if I still feel this miserable for four more days!
I am never drinking again! Never!
I seriously fucked something up in my body and I never want to go through with this much agony again! I have like, twenty bottles of liquor in the house that I don't know what to do with. A lot of them are full and unopened. I'm quite tempted to give them all away to my friends or homeless people or something.
The party was really fun. I drank Sutter Home White Zinfandel along with Jose Cuervo. I became so hammered, there are parts of the night that are complete black holes. Normally, when I get all wasted, I remember most of what happened, but there are huge chunks of time that have completely vanished from memory. That's scary.
To have no recollection, not even in the slightest is so terrible, and four days later, I'm still paying for it. I will continue to pay for it for the rest of the week it seems.
Sunday morning I woke up hungover, which is to be expected of course. I relaxed, drank water, had two very good meals. I was feeling pretty blah, but nothing out of the ordinary.
The next day, I have a fever. I'm getting hot and cold flashes. I can't sleep, I can't eat, I'm so dehydrated, I drank glass after glass of water and never had to pee afterwards because my body just soaked it all up.
I felt like total shit.
The next day it was the same thing. My ears were ringing, I had a migrain.
Today I went to the walk-in and explained how I was binge drinking and all my symptoms. The doc said that I must have picked up a virus and there's nothing I can do but wait it out and get lots of rest.
The doc wouldn't prescribe me anything for the migrains because I wasn't a regular patient. I think that's bullshit. I need something... I feel terrible!
If I'm not better over the weekend, I should get my blood count checked. I don't know what that means, but something's going to be getting checked if I still feel this miserable for four more days!
I am never drinking again! Never!
I seriously fucked something up in my body and I never want to go through with this much agony again! I have like, twenty bottles of liquor in the house that I don't know what to do with. A lot of them are full and unopened. I'm quite tempted to give them all away to my friends or homeless people or something.
Friday, April 24, 2009
Pre-Birthday Post
Today is Friday. That means tomorrow is Saturday and Saturday is when I'm having my birthday party even though my real birthday isn't until Monday. Sunday, the day after my birthday party, which is on Saturday, I'm going to my mom's for dinner to celebrate my birthday, which is really on Monday.
I plan on buying 2 bottles of wine and getting hammered tomorrow, which is Saturday, the day of my party. I have already rearranged my furniture to better seat all my party guests.
But, because I moved the green stripped rocking chair beside the bookshelf where the hamster lives, I also had to put a plate of cayenne pepper on the bookshelf to keep the cats away.
I bought all my party supplies yesterday, which was Thursday, after work, but today, which is Friday, after work, I'm going to have to pick up a few more things, like straws and napkins. Very important. And more strawberries because I accidentally dumped the ones I bought while bringing in the groceries. It was unfortunate, but luckily Dave cleaned it up.
I plan on buying 2 bottles of wine and getting hammered tomorrow, which is Saturday, the day of my party. I have already rearranged my furniture to better seat all my party guests.
But, because I moved the green stripped rocking chair beside the bookshelf where the hamster lives, I also had to put a plate of cayenne pepper on the bookshelf to keep the cats away.
I bought all my party supplies yesterday, which was Thursday, after work, but today, which is Friday, after work, I'm going to have to pick up a few more things, like straws and napkins. Very important. And more strawberries because I accidentally dumped the ones I bought while bringing in the groceries. It was unfortunate, but luckily Dave cleaned it up.
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
My A to Zed as stolen from J.H.
Here is my A to Zed blog as stolen from the one and only Jake Hammell and I won't skip the letter Y like he did.
A - Ashley is my little sister. When she was just 3 and I was 6, we recorded "The Friendship Song" on our little Frisher Price tape recorder. The lyrics consisted of:
We're the friendship, we're the friendship, (some la la la's and an ooh)
We're the sisters, we're the sisters, (some la la la's and an ooh)
B - Bohemian Rhapsody is one of my favourite songs. (Refer to the letter W.)
C - Chelsea does start with the letter C, but more importantly, so does Cheese and I love cheese, especially cheddar cheese. I'm certain it's become an addiction by now because I eat it almost daily and try to add it to everything I cook. If a recipe doesn't call for cheese, I add it anyway.
D - David. The love of my life. What more can I say? Also, Dale is the name of one of my cats. He was named after David's silly coworker.
E - Emelio is the name my sister gave my cat back when Emelio was her cat. He's albino and is missing half his tail. He's semi hearing impaired too, but we love him all the same!
F - I have participated in ten years worth of dance festivals because I took jazz class every year for a freaking decade!
G - I like to play board games and card games. It's probably the number one top most favourite thing for me to do ever! I also collect games from antique malls, flea markets, garage sales, and second hand and thrift stores. I have a vast collection of games that are no longer in circulation.
H - I have never eaten a hamburger or cheeseburger from a restaurant in my life. And by life, I mean my entire life since the day I was born. I have never ordered a big mac, or a whopper, or a teen burger. I have never tasted a burger, not even with the tip of my tongue. A burger has never touched my lips. I was never given a burger from my parents as a child, nor was I forced to eat a burger given to me by anyone else. The closest I've come to eating a burger was I put a homemade burger patty on a bun and took a bite. There were no condiments or cheese or vegetables. It was literally a plain hamburger patty on a plain bun.
I - I wanted a pet iguana growing up. Mom and Dad said no. I also wanted a pet mouse, hamster, tarantula, turtle, piranha, pig, parrot, and countless other lizards and amphibians. One day Dad said he brought me home a pet snake. It was a garter snake he'd run over with his truck. He put it in a yellow four litre ice cream bucket and brought it into the kitchen for me to play with, but the snake had a gash in his middle and was bleeding.
J - "Juki, Juki! something something Juki!" was that funny commercial for... for... well obviously the ad didn't work because I have no idea what the product was, but I know it was a soft drink and the Juki was this fake drink in the ad. I'm starting to sound crazy, but I'm not. The commercial existed! It looked sort of like the way the Fanta ads do, with people dancing and crap. I always have the song in my head and the only lyric I can remember is Juki.
K - when I type my last name into microsoft word, the dictionary always thinks I'm trying to spell kumkquat.
L - My prison pen pal lives in Louisiana State Penitentiary. He kidnapped somebody and attempted to murder him. He shot him in the face five times. He's actually a really nice old guy and I really enjoy our letters we write to each other.
M - Milk used to be a major part of my day. I drank milk both at breakfast and supper time and if possible, at lunch too. I didn't enjoy drinking juice or water growing up, nor did I drink pop, (until I realized rye and coke was so delicious.) I only drank milk. Now, I hardly ever drink milk because I drink Soy Beverage now. I vastly prefer it to cows' milk.
N - Noodles are one of my favourite things to eat, especially penne noodles and macaroni noodles. They are sucha verstatile food, and can be a great side dish, or if done properly, a meal all on their own! Plus, noodles are cheap to buy!
O - I found a bumper sticker just the other day while at the mall with some friends that said something like, "It doesn't matter how much stuff you own, you can never have enough orgasms," or something like that. I concur.
P - I have never been on a plane before. The first time I step foot on a plane will be when I go to Australia. Quantum airlines is the ONLY airline that has never had a plane crash. After I've seen Australia I can die happy.
Q - Quiznos and Subway are popular sandwhich restaurants. I don't like most sandwhiches and I have never in my life eaten at a Quiznos or Subway. I don't plan on starting now.
R - Red used to be my favourite colour. Now it is only my second favourite colour because Green has taken the top spot. I love green because it reminds me of nature things.
S - I've had an interest in sewing for many, many years now. I'm still not that great at using a sewing machine, but I can do basic needle and thread mending like adding buttons or sewing up holes in sweaters. I'm currently working on making a homemade poncho out of denim scraps.
T- I have a love hate relationship with television. I don't even want to get into it right now. TV disgusts me, and I hate how everyone is addicted to tv shows and spends hours on end in front of it. But at the same time, I work in television news.
U - I have many Uncles and Aunts that I had no idea weren't actually my aunts or uncles until I was nearly an adult. Turns out they were actually family friends, or second cousins, and things like that.
V - I only ate venison, (deer meat, if you are unaware,) for the first 5 or 6 years of my life. My dad was a hunter and we ate a lot of fresh game. Apparently the first time I was served beef I told my parents that the meat had gone bad because I didnt know the difference. My dad loves that story.
W - Wayne's World is my favourite movie. I've watched it so many times I can recite most of the movie along while it's playing. That's pretty bad. Wayne's World introduced me to Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody (Refer to letter B)
X - In elementary school, when we'd have music class, everyone always wanted to play the xylaphone because it was the coolest instrument are school had. I wonder why the xylaphone isn't used in popular music today? It should be.
Y - When Time Magazine voted YOU as person of they year, I felt seriously jipped. What a crock of shit. What a bunch of lazy bastards! I read the article while sitting in a waiting room and I thought it was a lame, cop-out article.
Z - Zoolander is another one of my favourite movies. I especialy love the line "You can derelict my balls cappy-tan."
A - Ashley is my little sister. When she was just 3 and I was 6, we recorded "The Friendship Song" on our little Frisher Price tape recorder. The lyrics consisted of:
We're the friendship, we're the friendship, (some la la la's and an ooh)
We're the sisters, we're the sisters, (some la la la's and an ooh)
B - Bohemian Rhapsody is one of my favourite songs. (Refer to the letter W.)
C - Chelsea does start with the letter C, but more importantly, so does Cheese and I love cheese, especially cheddar cheese. I'm certain it's become an addiction by now because I eat it almost daily and try to add it to everything I cook. If a recipe doesn't call for cheese, I add it anyway.
D - David. The love of my life. What more can I say? Also, Dale is the name of one of my cats. He was named after David's silly coworker.
E - Emelio is the name my sister gave my cat back when Emelio was her cat. He's albino and is missing half his tail. He's semi hearing impaired too, but we love him all the same!
F - I have participated in ten years worth of dance festivals because I took jazz class every year for a freaking decade!
G - I like to play board games and card games. It's probably the number one top most favourite thing for me to do ever! I also collect games from antique malls, flea markets, garage sales, and second hand and thrift stores. I have a vast collection of games that are no longer in circulation.
H - I have never eaten a hamburger or cheeseburger from a restaurant in my life. And by life, I mean my entire life since the day I was born. I have never ordered a big mac, or a whopper, or a teen burger. I have never tasted a burger, not even with the tip of my tongue. A burger has never touched my lips. I was never given a burger from my parents as a child, nor was I forced to eat a burger given to me by anyone else. The closest I've come to eating a burger was I put a homemade burger patty on a bun and took a bite. There were no condiments or cheese or vegetables. It was literally a plain hamburger patty on a plain bun.
I - I wanted a pet iguana growing up. Mom and Dad said no. I also wanted a pet mouse, hamster, tarantula, turtle, piranha, pig, parrot, and countless other lizards and amphibians. One day Dad said he brought me home a pet snake. It was a garter snake he'd run over with his truck. He put it in a yellow four litre ice cream bucket and brought it into the kitchen for me to play with, but the snake had a gash in his middle and was bleeding.
J - "Juki, Juki! something something Juki!" was that funny commercial for... for... well obviously the ad didn't work because I have no idea what the product was, but I know it was a soft drink and the Juki was this fake drink in the ad. I'm starting to sound crazy, but I'm not. The commercial existed! It looked sort of like the way the Fanta ads do, with people dancing and crap. I always have the song in my head and the only lyric I can remember is Juki.
K - when I type my last name into microsoft word, the dictionary always thinks I'm trying to spell kumkquat.
L - My prison pen pal lives in Louisiana State Penitentiary. He kidnapped somebody and attempted to murder him. He shot him in the face five times. He's actually a really nice old guy and I really enjoy our letters we write to each other.
M - Milk used to be a major part of my day. I drank milk both at breakfast and supper time and if possible, at lunch too. I didn't enjoy drinking juice or water growing up, nor did I drink pop, (until I realized rye and coke was so delicious.) I only drank milk. Now, I hardly ever drink milk because I drink Soy Beverage now. I vastly prefer it to cows' milk.
N - Noodles are one of my favourite things to eat, especially penne noodles and macaroni noodles. They are sucha verstatile food, and can be a great side dish, or if done properly, a meal all on their own! Plus, noodles are cheap to buy!
O - I found a bumper sticker just the other day while at the mall with some friends that said something like, "It doesn't matter how much stuff you own, you can never have enough orgasms," or something like that. I concur.
P - I have never been on a plane before. The first time I step foot on a plane will be when I go to Australia. Quantum airlines is the ONLY airline that has never had a plane crash. After I've seen Australia I can die happy.
Q - Quiznos and Subway are popular sandwhich restaurants. I don't like most sandwhiches and I have never in my life eaten at a Quiznos or Subway. I don't plan on starting now.
R - Red used to be my favourite colour. Now it is only my second favourite colour because Green has taken the top spot. I love green because it reminds me of nature things.
S - I've had an interest in sewing for many, many years now. I'm still not that great at using a sewing machine, but I can do basic needle and thread mending like adding buttons or sewing up holes in sweaters. I'm currently working on making a homemade poncho out of denim scraps.
T- I have a love hate relationship with television. I don't even want to get into it right now. TV disgusts me, and I hate how everyone is addicted to tv shows and spends hours on end in front of it. But at the same time, I work in television news.
U - I have many Uncles and Aunts that I had no idea weren't actually my aunts or uncles until I was nearly an adult. Turns out they were actually family friends, or second cousins, and things like that.
V - I only ate venison, (deer meat, if you are unaware,) for the first 5 or 6 years of my life. My dad was a hunter and we ate a lot of fresh game. Apparently the first time I was served beef I told my parents that the meat had gone bad because I didnt know the difference. My dad loves that story.
W - Wayne's World is my favourite movie. I've watched it so many times I can recite most of the movie along while it's playing. That's pretty bad. Wayne's World introduced me to Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody (Refer to letter B)
X - In elementary school, when we'd have music class, everyone always wanted to play the xylaphone because it was the coolest instrument are school had. I wonder why the xylaphone isn't used in popular music today? It should be.
Y - When Time Magazine voted YOU as person of they year, I felt seriously jipped. What a crock of shit. What a bunch of lazy bastards! I read the article while sitting in a waiting room and I thought it was a lame, cop-out article.
Z - Zoolander is another one of my favourite movies. I especialy love the line "You can derelict my balls cappy-tan."
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Points
I am soooo sick of covering this manitoba flood. Seriously. I need to get out of this province!
Second, CTV is continuously running this weird Dominos prank video as seen on youtube. It's grossing me out.
Thirdly, I'm crashing after my sugar high. And I'm not even supposed to be eating sugar. I'm not following my trainer's diet advice. I'm not doing my cardio.
All I want to do is drink wine and sleep. All I have to do is work out at noon tomorrow, go for a massage at 3 and possibly get my hair trimmed too.
Oh... and wash 3 weeks worth of nasty dishes which are so gross they are stinking up my entire apartment.
Second, CTV is continuously running this weird Dominos prank video as seen on youtube. It's grossing me out.
Thirdly, I'm crashing after my sugar high. And I'm not even supposed to be eating sugar. I'm not following my trainer's diet advice. I'm not doing my cardio.
All I want to do is drink wine and sleep. All I have to do is work out at noon tomorrow, go for a massage at 3 and possibly get my hair trimmed too.
Oh... and wash 3 weeks worth of nasty dishes which are so gross they are stinking up my entire apartment.
Saturday, April 11, 2009
North End
I dislike going to Winnipeg's North End.
Here is my latest north end experience.
I went down to Selkirk and Salter for an interview with a woman who worked there. I was looking for a parking spot when a young boy, must have been younger than 12, mouthed the word bitch to me. He was staring right into my eyes as he said it. I gave no reaction and kept driving. I circled the block and this same kid had met up with 4 other kids about the same age, all dressed up like mini gangsters. They were in the street. Not jaywalking, but just by the curb and being annoying. As I started drive past them, they pretended to jump out in front of the vehicle and they pretended to kick at my van. Again, I made no facial expressions and I did not hit the brake. I knew they wouldn't be dumb enough to make contact with the vehicle. I parked my vehicle away from the dumb kids and walked the half a block to the interviewee's place. Some guy says to me, hey, wanna film me? I'll take my clothes off for you.
Omg. Seriously? Why even bother coming to the north end. That place should just be condemed.
It's so far gone, there's no way it can be fixed up. It doesn't matter how many murals are painted, or how many little shoppes are opened up, you just can't fix that place up.
And if I were in charge of rejuvinating the north end, the first thing I would do is give everyone proper curtains. For some reason, people living in the north end don't buy curtains. Instead, they cover every window in their house with a beach towel. Towel-Curtains are by far the trashiest thing ever.
Everything is run down and dirty looking. Sometimes a run down building can have a lot of character, but these buildings in the north end just look sketchy and unappealing.
It's the slum of Winnipeg and I feel bad knowing that most of the people living there don't want to be there, but they have no choice because it's the cheapest place to live.
Here is my latest north end experience.
I went down to Selkirk and Salter for an interview with a woman who worked there. I was looking for a parking spot when a young boy, must have been younger than 12, mouthed the word bitch to me. He was staring right into my eyes as he said it. I gave no reaction and kept driving. I circled the block and this same kid had met up with 4 other kids about the same age, all dressed up like mini gangsters. They were in the street. Not jaywalking, but just by the curb and being annoying. As I started drive past them, they pretended to jump out in front of the vehicle and they pretended to kick at my van. Again, I made no facial expressions and I did not hit the brake. I knew they wouldn't be dumb enough to make contact with the vehicle. I parked my vehicle away from the dumb kids and walked the half a block to the interviewee's place. Some guy says to me, hey, wanna film me? I'll take my clothes off for you.
Omg. Seriously? Why even bother coming to the north end. That place should just be condemed.
It's so far gone, there's no way it can be fixed up. It doesn't matter how many murals are painted, or how many little shoppes are opened up, you just can't fix that place up.
And if I were in charge of rejuvinating the north end, the first thing I would do is give everyone proper curtains. For some reason, people living in the north end don't buy curtains. Instead, they cover every window in their house with a beach towel. Towel-Curtains are by far the trashiest thing ever.
Everything is run down and dirty looking. Sometimes a run down building can have a lot of character, but these buildings in the north end just look sketchy and unappealing.
It's the slum of Winnipeg and I feel bad knowing that most of the people living there don't want to be there, but they have no choice because it's the cheapest place to live.
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Retraction
I retract my previous statement that weed is a great motivator. It obviously isn't. Weed ruined my diet by making me eat half a box of cookies and then making me feel like crap in the morning so I missed my workout. Now I have to exercise twice as much and twice as hard to make up for it.
Does weed have calories if you eat it? In the shower this morning I was thinking about making some peanut butter weed toast, if I had bread or weed to make it. I think it would taste good, but bread is a starch, and I'm not supposed to be having starch. But weed isn't a starch, so I could technically have peanut butter weed on a spoon...
If you put weed in a salad, would it be considered a herb?
It may be green, but it ain't a vegetable. And if weed were a vegetable, I'd probably be having way more servings of it.
The day after smoking I go mental. All I think about is weed for 24 hours before I settle down and come to my senses.
Does weed have calories if you eat it? In the shower this morning I was thinking about making some peanut butter weed toast, if I had bread or weed to make it. I think it would taste good, but bread is a starch, and I'm not supposed to be having starch. But weed isn't a starch, so I could technically have peanut butter weed on a spoon...
If you put weed in a salad, would it be considered a herb?
It may be green, but it ain't a vegetable. And if weed were a vegetable, I'd probably be having way more servings of it.
The day after smoking I go mental. All I think about is weed for 24 hours before I settle down and come to my senses.
Shopping Stoned
I know the blog post reads I posted this on Thursday, but that's only because it's after midnight.
In my opinion, it's still Wednesday because the "next day" only comes after you've gone to sleep and woken up.
Anyhow, I had a few drinks tonight with some friends. Dave and I went back to his friend's new apartment to smoke an impromptu joint (rolled in grape flavoured paper). I don't care what anyone says, weed is the best motivator ever! Because when you've got the munchies, you will go to the end of the earth to satisfy your craving.
All I wanted was for some chocolate chip cookies and milk. That's it that's all. Nothing too fancy, just plain old milk and cookies. Dave finally drove us to the nearest 7/11 after I begged him, (and also after Dave stopped pretending to have down syndrome (long story))
I even punched him a few times and bruised my left wrist. I'm right handed, so I don't know why I was punching him with my left wrist.
We got to the sev and I got my my chocolate chip cookies and I grabbed some milk. Dave randomly started grabbing food in the store and I had to stop him and put shit back because otherwise he was going to be paying like, $40 for fucking sev food.
We got in the car and start chomping on cookies. They tasted so good and I open up the carton of milk and took a huge swig. It tasted different, but I thought it was because I was high.
Dave looks at that carton while driving and says, "Hey you bought homo milk!"
WTF OMG PIECE OF SHIT FUCK DAMN HELL CUNT!!!!!!
I only drink SKIM MILK not HOMO milk jesus fuck! I was super pissed off.
And then I laughed. I laughed for like 15 minutes because I thought it was so funny that I had bought the complete opposite milk that I had wanted to buy. I was too high to notice I was buying the wrong milk.
And I had oodles of time to notice too. This black lady in line in front of us was teaching the cashier how print out a Keno lottery ticket for her and it took forever.
Now I feel kind of burned out and cheated that my craving wasn't 100% satisfied, but I guess there's always next time.
Fucking milk god damn it. Ruined my high.
In my opinion, it's still Wednesday because the "next day" only comes after you've gone to sleep and woken up.
Anyhow, I had a few drinks tonight with some friends. Dave and I went back to his friend's new apartment to smoke an impromptu joint (rolled in grape flavoured paper). I don't care what anyone says, weed is the best motivator ever! Because when you've got the munchies, you will go to the end of the earth to satisfy your craving.
All I wanted was for some chocolate chip cookies and milk. That's it that's all. Nothing too fancy, just plain old milk and cookies. Dave finally drove us to the nearest 7/11 after I begged him, (and also after Dave stopped pretending to have down syndrome (long story))
I even punched him a few times and bruised my left wrist. I'm right handed, so I don't know why I was punching him with my left wrist.
We got to the sev and I got my my chocolate chip cookies and I grabbed some milk. Dave randomly started grabbing food in the store and I had to stop him and put shit back because otherwise he was going to be paying like, $40 for fucking sev food.
We got in the car and start chomping on cookies. They tasted so good and I open up the carton of milk and took a huge swig. It tasted different, but I thought it was because I was high.
Dave looks at that carton while driving and says, "Hey you bought homo milk!"
WTF OMG PIECE OF SHIT FUCK DAMN HELL CUNT!!!!!!
I only drink SKIM MILK not HOMO milk jesus fuck! I was super pissed off.
And then I laughed. I laughed for like 15 minutes because I thought it was so funny that I had bought the complete opposite milk that I had wanted to buy. I was too high to notice I was buying the wrong milk.
And I had oodles of time to notice too. This black lady in line in front of us was teaching the cashier how print out a Keno lottery ticket for her and it took forever.
Now I feel kind of burned out and cheated that my craving wasn't 100% satisfied, but I guess there's always next time.
Fucking milk god damn it. Ruined my high.
Friday, April 3, 2009
Feeling Inspired
I never imagined that blogging about exercise would inspire my friends to exercise too! It feels good knowing that not only am I making a difference in myself, but I'm making a difference in the people around me.
A lot of people, including me, will look at somebody else's lifestyle and wish they could live that way.
For me, I always wished that I could live a healthier more active lifestyle. One of my goals used to be to convert myself into a full-fledged vegan. It never happened. I could barely keep up with being a vegetarian, let alone a vegan!
But some good came out of it. I switched from drinking mostly cow's milk to mostly soy milk. I've tried various vegan "meats" and "cheeses" some of which I really liked and incorporate into my every day meals.
It was a chain affect. Now my mom and sister drink soy milk too. Maybe one day I'll get them into soy-meat.
With all this exercise business, I've got friends joining kick boxing classes, doing yoga with a DVD in their living room, and even looking into getting a trainer for themselves. It's so awesome! It's another chain affect.
But there's just one person that I can't seem to inspire. A person I really and truly wish that I could get to see the light. The possibilities for getting in shape are endless for all seasons of the year and he just doesn't see that!
Running, skipping rope, dancing, yoga, rollerblading, cycling, swimming, lifting weights, martial arts, pilates, resistance bands, team sports... hell, even sandbagging could be a good workout!
Pick something! Anything! Do it as often as you can afford to, both physically and financially. If you can only do that activity for one or two seasons a year, find something else to do in your off season!
It doesn't matter how old you are or how much you weigh. It's about general health and being the best you can be. It's about planning ahead. People are willing to put money into a savings account every month, but what are they investing in their body every month? Sometimes it's not enough.
Sure, you'll have enough money once you retire, but will you be able to walk? Will you be spending all your funds on medications and surgeries?
Living in the moment has its time and place, but every now and again you have to look at the bigger picture. I hope that the person I'm talking about does this soon and realizes what he's missing out on.
A lot of people, including me, will look at somebody else's lifestyle and wish they could live that way.
For me, I always wished that I could live a healthier more active lifestyle. One of my goals used to be to convert myself into a full-fledged vegan. It never happened. I could barely keep up with being a vegetarian, let alone a vegan!
But some good came out of it. I switched from drinking mostly cow's milk to mostly soy milk. I've tried various vegan "meats" and "cheeses" some of which I really liked and incorporate into my every day meals.
It was a chain affect. Now my mom and sister drink soy milk too. Maybe one day I'll get them into soy-meat.
With all this exercise business, I've got friends joining kick boxing classes, doing yoga with a DVD in their living room, and even looking into getting a trainer for themselves. It's so awesome! It's another chain affect.
But there's just one person that I can't seem to inspire. A person I really and truly wish that I could get to see the light. The possibilities for getting in shape are endless for all seasons of the year and he just doesn't see that!
Running, skipping rope, dancing, yoga, rollerblading, cycling, swimming, lifting weights, martial arts, pilates, resistance bands, team sports... hell, even sandbagging could be a good workout!
Pick something! Anything! Do it as often as you can afford to, both physically and financially. If you can only do that activity for one or two seasons a year, find something else to do in your off season!
It doesn't matter how old you are or how much you weigh. It's about general health and being the best you can be. It's about planning ahead. People are willing to put money into a savings account every month, but what are they investing in their body every month? Sometimes it's not enough.
Sure, you'll have enough money once you retire, but will you be able to walk? Will you be spending all your funds on medications and surgeries?
Living in the moment has its time and place, but every now and again you have to look at the bigger picture. I hope that the person I'm talking about does this soon and realizes what he's missing out on.
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Starting Over
I've booked time another trainer. His name is John. I wish you could see what John looked like. I would describe him as a stockier, African-American Arnold Schwarzenegger. His neck is like a tree trunk, if he still has a neck. He's basically a bald head with arms stick out from underneath it. He could shit-kick Luis pretty quick I bet, wherever Luis is.
He took my weight and body fat percentage again. Turns out I've gotten fatter. My weight is the same, but my body fat percentage went up by 2.5% I feel like such a disgrace! I am less than pleased about this. Then again, I've stopped working out as much since Luis left. I've just been going to the odd yoga class and stopped cardio altogether.
John gave me some useful advice regarding eating habits though. He's a lot more organized than Luis was. He told me that if I can, to completely cut out starches from my diet. That means white rice, white bread, potatoes, pasta. If I can't, then I should at least make the switch to brown or whole grain products, and to keep portions to a minimum.
My two favourite things to eat are tortilla chips and broccoli cheddar rice. Damn.
Actually, cutting out starches shouldn't be too bad. I know I won't be able to cut them out completely, but dave and I don't eat bread, and when we do it's brown bread. We rarely eat potatoes, but we're starting to get into yams more. Dave and I both enjoy whole wheat pasta and Dave especially loves multigrain tostitos.
So there you go. The hardest thing will be the white rice. White rice is so fucking convenient, it's insane. It takes five minutes to make. Kraft Dinner takes longer than that!!! I have quite a bit of brown rice, but we never use it because it takes like a freaking hour to cook and we are too impatient to wait that long. I'm willing to try though.
John's other food tip was to eat meat and vegetables and fruit at every meal. Also, to eat 6 small meals a day rather than 3 big meals. I'll try, but in my line of work it's hard to even eat 2 meals a day let alone 6!
No skipping breakfast! Eating first thing in the morning gets your metabolism going apparently. I gotta drink my fruit juice!
Finally, within 15 minutes of working out, I should eat something, whether it be a protein shake, or fruit, I need to eat something good for me. When your muscles are warm from exercising, they will absorb the most nutrients, but your muscles cool off within 15 minutes, so you have act fast. He told me to keep some food energy bars or something in my locker so that as soon as I'm done working out, I can grab it and eat right away to feed my muscles.
He didn't touch on the dairy subject, which I was surprised, but whatever. He better not ban me from my cheese and yogurt, the only two dairy items I can't live without.
He wants me to do cardio a minimum of 3 times a week, to a maximum of 5 times a week. The best way for me to burn fat, without losing muscle is to do interval cardio. Basically it's 1 minute of high intensity, then one minute of low intensity, back and forth for 20 minutes. Or, if I have the time, I can do 45 minutes of low intensity cardio which will burn fat, but not muscle.
If I were to do 45 minutes of high intensity cardio, I would be burning fat and muscle, which isn't good considering I'm trying to gain muscle!
John is quite knowledgable and I'm glad I'll be working with somebody who's on top of everything.
Luis was kind of wishy-washy sometimes, like he didn't quite know what we were going to work on next, but John made up a plan in like 5 minutes flat and said this our new schedule. Done. I like that.
So now I'm going through my pantry trying to figure out what I'm not allowed to buy anymore...
Good-bye Lipton's sidekicks. I know you're only a side dish, but you made a great meal when I was too lazy too cook.
Good-bye Mr Christie crackers. Your whole wheat version counterparts tastes like shit, so I'm not even going to buy you anymore.
Good-bye Minute Rice. You were great in stir frys but it's time to give your healthier brother, Brown Rice a try. He's slower than you, but don't poke fun. I'm sure the taste is all there.
He took my weight and body fat percentage again. Turns out I've gotten fatter. My weight is the same, but my body fat percentage went up by 2.5% I feel like such a disgrace! I am less than pleased about this. Then again, I've stopped working out as much since Luis left. I've just been going to the odd yoga class and stopped cardio altogether.
John gave me some useful advice regarding eating habits though. He's a lot more organized than Luis was. He told me that if I can, to completely cut out starches from my diet. That means white rice, white bread, potatoes, pasta. If I can't, then I should at least make the switch to brown or whole grain products, and to keep portions to a minimum.
My two favourite things to eat are tortilla chips and broccoli cheddar rice. Damn.
Actually, cutting out starches shouldn't be too bad. I know I won't be able to cut them out completely, but dave and I don't eat bread, and when we do it's brown bread. We rarely eat potatoes, but we're starting to get into yams more. Dave and I both enjoy whole wheat pasta and Dave especially loves multigrain tostitos.
So there you go. The hardest thing will be the white rice. White rice is so fucking convenient, it's insane. It takes five minutes to make. Kraft Dinner takes longer than that!!! I have quite a bit of brown rice, but we never use it because it takes like a freaking hour to cook and we are too impatient to wait that long. I'm willing to try though.
John's other food tip was to eat meat and vegetables and fruit at every meal. Also, to eat 6 small meals a day rather than 3 big meals. I'll try, but in my line of work it's hard to even eat 2 meals a day let alone 6!
No skipping breakfast! Eating first thing in the morning gets your metabolism going apparently. I gotta drink my fruit juice!
Finally, within 15 minutes of working out, I should eat something, whether it be a protein shake, or fruit, I need to eat something good for me. When your muscles are warm from exercising, they will absorb the most nutrients, but your muscles cool off within 15 minutes, so you have act fast. He told me to keep some food energy bars or something in my locker so that as soon as I'm done working out, I can grab it and eat right away to feed my muscles.
He didn't touch on the dairy subject, which I was surprised, but whatever. He better not ban me from my cheese and yogurt, the only two dairy items I can't live without.
He wants me to do cardio a minimum of 3 times a week, to a maximum of 5 times a week. The best way for me to burn fat, without losing muscle is to do interval cardio. Basically it's 1 minute of high intensity, then one minute of low intensity, back and forth for 20 minutes. Or, if I have the time, I can do 45 minutes of low intensity cardio which will burn fat, but not muscle.
If I were to do 45 minutes of high intensity cardio, I would be burning fat and muscle, which isn't good considering I'm trying to gain muscle!
John is quite knowledgable and I'm glad I'll be working with somebody who's on top of everything.
Luis was kind of wishy-washy sometimes, like he didn't quite know what we were going to work on next, but John made up a plan in like 5 minutes flat and said this our new schedule. Done. I like that.
So now I'm going through my pantry trying to figure out what I'm not allowed to buy anymore...
Good-bye Lipton's sidekicks. I know you're only a side dish, but you made a great meal when I was too lazy too cook.
Good-bye Mr Christie crackers. Your whole wheat version counterparts tastes like shit, so I'm not even going to buy you anymore.
Good-bye Minute Rice. You were great in stir frys but it's time to give your healthier brother, Brown Rice a try. He's slower than you, but don't poke fun. I'm sure the taste is all there.
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Handicapped Authority
When it comes to handicapped people in public - and I'm specifically talking about people in wheel chairs - there are a lot of things that have been put in place to help them move around much easier; Those things being special parking, doors, and bathrooms stalls, (and even sometimes elevators).
I started thinking about this handicapped business when I entered a public washroom that was completely empty and chose to use the handicapped stall. I don't know why I did this. Maybe because it was the stall at the end? But wouldn't it have been hilarious if a person in a wheelchair would have came in right after I'd closed the door to the handicapped stall?
That poor lady would have had to wait for me to finish up in the biggest stall while all these gleaming white toilets beckoned her to use them - taunting her even.
And I bet you she would just be seething! Cursing me for having two legs to walk on and choosing to occupy the only stall she can fit in with her clumsy wheelchair.
Then I thought, so what? If I had chose to use the handicapped door to enter Walmart, that person would have had to wait. If I had chose to use the elevator instead of the escalator, that person would have had to wait.
Then I thought about parking. (I wasn't in the stall for this long... honest... I just kept thinking about it.) What if everyone were allowed to park in handicapped parking? People in wheel chairs would just have to circle the lot like the rest of us. There are other people, other than those in wheelchairs, that require handicapped parking though, like old people with canes and junk, so I decided that the handicapped parking system was rather useful.
But after thinking that, I thought, wouldn't it be funny if you needed a handicapped pass to use the handicapped bathroom stall and the handicapped door? There could be some parking authority type people in yellow coats, called the Handicapped Authority, walking around issuing fines to people in malls who illegally urinate in a handicapped stall.
They'd have a patrol officer circling the premise trying to catch people using the handicapped door unlawfully.
Then I thought about the recession and how all these new jobs I created would probably get cut. They'd have to replace all the 'Handicapped Authority' positions with machines, which last longer, and don't have mouths at home to feed.
All doors would become automatic handicapped doors. All bathroom stalls would be twice the size. Though it would be less efficient to double the size of all the stalls into handicapped stalls, because then only half as many people could go to the bathroom at the same time, at least when assholes like me, with 2 proper, good-working legs come along, there won't ever be the chance of me using the only handicapped friendly stall available while the paraplegic does the pee-pee dance sitting down.
I started thinking about this handicapped business when I entered a public washroom that was completely empty and chose to use the handicapped stall. I don't know why I did this. Maybe because it was the stall at the end? But wouldn't it have been hilarious if a person in a wheelchair would have came in right after I'd closed the door to the handicapped stall?
That poor lady would have had to wait for me to finish up in the biggest stall while all these gleaming white toilets beckoned her to use them - taunting her even.
And I bet you she would just be seething! Cursing me for having two legs to walk on and choosing to occupy the only stall she can fit in with her clumsy wheelchair.
Then I thought, so what? If I had chose to use the handicapped door to enter Walmart, that person would have had to wait. If I had chose to use the elevator instead of the escalator, that person would have had to wait.
Then I thought about parking. (I wasn't in the stall for this long... honest... I just kept thinking about it.) What if everyone were allowed to park in handicapped parking? People in wheel chairs would just have to circle the lot like the rest of us. There are other people, other than those in wheelchairs, that require handicapped parking though, like old people with canes and junk, so I decided that the handicapped parking system was rather useful.
But after thinking that, I thought, wouldn't it be funny if you needed a handicapped pass to use the handicapped bathroom stall and the handicapped door? There could be some parking authority type people in yellow coats, called the Handicapped Authority, walking around issuing fines to people in malls who illegally urinate in a handicapped stall.
They'd have a patrol officer circling the premise trying to catch people using the handicapped door unlawfully.
Then I thought about the recession and how all these new jobs I created would probably get cut. They'd have to replace all the 'Handicapped Authority' positions with machines, which last longer, and don't have mouths at home to feed.
All doors would become automatic handicapped doors. All bathroom stalls would be twice the size. Though it would be less efficient to double the size of all the stalls into handicapped stalls, because then only half as many people could go to the bathroom at the same time, at least when assholes like me, with 2 proper, good-working legs come along, there won't ever be the chance of me using the only handicapped friendly stall available while the paraplegic does the pee-pee dance sitting down.
