This will be my final post on this blog before I retire it for good. In an effort to be rid of any possible way I can incriminate myself online, I am deleting this blog, and my Facebook and Twitter accounts have already been deleted. I will miss this blog, but alas I must kill my internet persona.
I have said it before, and I will say it again: Facebook is a mountain top. You can't help but declare, vent, and express with vigor. It is instantly gratifying. All of your so-called friends can read it right away and know just how you feel. Sometimes it feels good to get something off your chest, no matter how inappropriate it is.
Then the comments come rolling in. Everyone loves to judge. Every ignorant Tom, Dick, and Harry love to leave their mark with a witty or insulting comment.
Nothing you say is safe. Not the simplest post, not the sarcastic post. Not the post filled with frustration, not the post made in angst. What is the point? Why do I have to censor myself in front of my friends when my friends are the only ones who can see and read these posts? Because my friends judge me too harshly. Why does everyone need to dissect everything everyone says at all times always? Because that's what we do now.
It's exhausting.
I shouldn't have to do it and I don't want to do it anymore. I feel sick to my stomach right now. I don't regret anything I've ever posted, but now the time comes to try to erase as much of it as possible. People will talk smack about the littlest things and I don't want to leave anything behind that may one day be used against me.
Sometimes it feels like we are living in an age of self-righteousness. I know I'm guilty of acting that way once in a while, judging people I don't even know, feeling the urge to express my important opinions and only wanting validation, not a debate. People are dumb. They will always be dumb. I'm tired of explaining myself to people I don't even care about, so I'm removing myself from the equation.
Maybe one day I will rejoin society and participate in social media once more, but until then, I will live a life off the grid so to speak, connecting with friends through email and the telephone, and if I'm lucky enough, in person as well.
Goodbye for now. Don't forget about me. I still exist in person.
Friday, March 1, 2013
Sunday, February 24, 2013
Yahoo! Answers
I am addicted to answering questions on Yahoo! Answers. There are so many categories, but I really like the relationship questions and the pregnancy questions. People are super dumb and I feel like this really important Dear Abby type person, with all this sage advice. You can tell a lot of the questions are from teens and even if it seems like they're trolling, I try to answer them like I take them completely seriously.
Out of the 71 answers I've given so far, I was selected as the best answer by the person asking the question 11 times. I'm at a 15% Best Answer rate and that doesn't even include all the thumbs up I get from others reading my answers.
To give you an idea of the type of questions people ask:
I can't stop answering questions. I have this compulsion to read people's problems and try to help them. Some of them can actually be serious: young girls with low self-esteem, abusive relationships, and that kind of thing, but so many of them are just about puppy love and missed periods. It's ridiculous.
Out of the 71 answers I've given so far, I was selected as the best answer by the person asking the question 11 times. I'm at a 15% Best Answer rate and that doesn't even include all the thumbs up I get from others reading my answers.
To give you an idea of the type of questions people ask:
"My boyfriend wore a condom and we only had sex for 10 seconds and he didn't cum in me. Could I be pregnant?"It's fascinating how idiotic people are. I know they're just young, but omg, has tv, school, and your parents really failed you that badly?
"How do I grab my girlfriend's boobs at the school dance without looking like a molester?"
"There's this girl that I really like, but I don't know if she likes me back and I really want to ask her out but I don't know how and how do I know if she even likes me. We don't really talk that much but sometimes I catch her staring at me and I don't know why."
I can't stop answering questions. I have this compulsion to read people's problems and try to help them. Some of them can actually be serious: young girls with low self-esteem, abusive relationships, and that kind of thing, but so many of them are just about puppy love and missed periods. It's ridiculous.
Tuesday, February 12, 2013
I Love Me Month
February means a lot of things to a lot of people: I love to read month, Black history month, Valentine's Day, the Superbowl, Groundhog Day, Flag Day, and even Louis Riel Day. But for one stay at home mom, it is I Love ME month.
Big changes are coming. I quit my job at that woman's daycare and decided to start my own home daycare. Two kids start next week. I've also hired a personal trainer. It worked for me in the passed and I hope it will work again.
Both of these endeavors are costing me big money, but if I stick to it, there will be big rewards in the end.
Thank to family, I was given some seed money to start my little business. I've been buying as much second hand as I can find. Value Village and Kijiji have had some great deals on stuff I really needed. If this works out, I can add one more child to my home daycare, and I'll actually make enough money to live. I get to stay at home with my daughter, make money, and I can still go to night school in the fall. I can't believe the pieces are fitting together to well.
My career and family goals are on the right track, but I wanted to do something that was just for me. I desperately want to get back into shape. It's been 5 months and I haven't been serious enough about getting my body back, but now I am very serious. The only problem was that I didn't know where to begin.
All the things I used to do to stay in shape I can't do anymore. I can't join a gym or do pole dancing. I'm pretty much stuck at home until the snow melts and I can push the stroller without swearing. I have free weights, and my apartment complex does have stairs. But getting motivated is hard to do and I don't really know what to work on or where to start because it's been so long.
Enter Joel. He's a certified personal trainer who's created a work out plan just for me that I can do in my living room. He'll be meeting with me once a week for a month to go through the work out with me and really push me. He'll also offer nutritional advice. Tomorrow is our first day together.
I like idea of being held accountable. Yes, I'm doing this for myself, but when you do something for someone else, and try to please someone else, the stakes are higher and I actually like the pressure of trying to impress someone. It's like he's my boss or something. I'm just going to do what he tells me to do and work my ass off. Literally.
We'll see what sort of results I get after 4 weeks. If it's going well and I like working with Joel, I'll definitely pay him for one more month. The idea is that he's going to get me started and once I get into the routine, I'm going to keep up the good work by myself.
I really feel like I'm taking control of my life and making good decisions that are helping me to live a successful life. To all my readers, if you love yourself, make February I Love Me month for yourself and celebrate by doing something for you!
Big changes are coming. I quit my job at that woman's daycare and decided to start my own home daycare. Two kids start next week. I've also hired a personal trainer. It worked for me in the passed and I hope it will work again.
Both of these endeavors are costing me big money, but if I stick to it, there will be big rewards in the end.
Thank to family, I was given some seed money to start my little business. I've been buying as much second hand as I can find. Value Village and Kijiji have had some great deals on stuff I really needed. If this works out, I can add one more child to my home daycare, and I'll actually make enough money to live. I get to stay at home with my daughter, make money, and I can still go to night school in the fall. I can't believe the pieces are fitting together to well.
My career and family goals are on the right track, but I wanted to do something that was just for me. I desperately want to get back into shape. It's been 5 months and I haven't been serious enough about getting my body back, but now I am very serious. The only problem was that I didn't know where to begin.
All the things I used to do to stay in shape I can't do anymore. I can't join a gym or do pole dancing. I'm pretty much stuck at home until the snow melts and I can push the stroller without swearing. I have free weights, and my apartment complex does have stairs. But getting motivated is hard to do and I don't really know what to work on or where to start because it's been so long.
Enter Joel. He's a certified personal trainer who's created a work out plan just for me that I can do in my living room. He'll be meeting with me once a week for a month to go through the work out with me and really push me. He'll also offer nutritional advice. Tomorrow is our first day together.
I like idea of being held accountable. Yes, I'm doing this for myself, but when you do something for someone else, and try to please someone else, the stakes are higher and I actually like the pressure of trying to impress someone. It's like he's my boss or something. I'm just going to do what he tells me to do and work my ass off. Literally.
We'll see what sort of results I get after 4 weeks. If it's going well and I like working with Joel, I'll definitely pay him for one more month. The idea is that he's going to get me started and once I get into the routine, I'm going to keep up the good work by myself.
I really feel like I'm taking control of my life and making good decisions that are helping me to live a successful life. To all my readers, if you love yourself, make February I Love Me month for yourself and celebrate by doing something for you!
Monday, January 28, 2013
BLW Situation
BLW = Baby Led Weaning.
This is how I am introducing solids to Tesla even though her pediatrician has told me to to start with rice cereal. I mentioned I wanted to do BLW instead and he told me to stick to our plan. I can't understand why.
Tradition dictates that I must buy iron-fortified baby rice cereal, prepare it at home, add enough formula to make it runny, and spoon feed it into her little mouth. That is just too unnatural and breaks the laws of nature in my opinion.
Baby Led Weaning is the opposite approach. Instead of boiling fruits and vegetables and pureeing the shit out of them, (or worse, giving her jar food from the store) I'm currently giving her raw produce to suck and gnaw on. She has no teeth, she's not supposed to eat it. She's supposed to explore the food, the texture and the taste of it. She's supposed to hold it in her hand and bring to her mouth herself.
She's just 5 months old right now, so there's no reason for her even eat solids yet. When she turns 6 months, I'll start giving her foods she can safely ingest and digest by herself. Things like steamed vegetables, soft fruits or lightly baked fruits, and also chicken and beef. Depending on what it is, she'll be given a chunk or a strip to hold on to and play with and eat.
But won't she choke? you ask. No, she won't. BLW babies learn to chew first and swallow second, like how you should ingest food. When a baby is ready, she'll move the food to the back of her throat to be swallowed. A sign she's not ready, is gagging. Gagging is not choking. Gagging is when the food has moved too far back and the baby's not ready to swallow, so she gags to move it back up to the front. It's a very smart defense mechanism so that the baby does not choke for real.
In the rare event your baby starts to choke and stops breathing, which can actually happen more easily to a spoon fed baby since they're learning to swallow first and chew second, you start the baby Heimlich maneuver.
But won't she be nutrient deficient since she's not ingesting much food on her own? you ask. No, she consumes all the calories and nutrients she needs in her daily bottles. The real food is a bonus until she's a year old. I don't understand why she would need iron-fortified rice cereal when her formula is already iron fortified and rice is void of any nutritional value, plus it's constipating.
It makes better sense to give her foods that are high in vitamins and minerals instead, like avocado or sweet potato. If my baby didn't get enough to eat, I'd hear about it from her anyway. Babies know when they're hungry and they know when they're full. By allowing my baby to feed herself, I'm not interfering with that ecosystem. She'll naturally stop when she's had enough. Spoon fed babies aren't always granted that same privilege. Parents like to top up their babies, or get their baby to eat just one more bite. If that mentality continues, there's a higher likelihood of childhood obesity.
I have been researching this since I was pregnant. It's the safest, most logical approach to introducing Tesla to the foods she'll be eating for the rest of her life. BLW babies have a wider taste palate, thus consume more healthy foods later on in life, are more self-aware, thus won't be as likely to overeat later on in life, and are generally more independent.
I just don't understand why Tesla's pediatrician would try to steer me away from this. So many parents have had success. I have scoured the internet for naysayers, problems, backlash, anything, and I couldn't find it. He never provided any medical reason to not do it. So, I'm just going to do it anyway.
This is how I am introducing solids to Tesla even though her pediatrician has told me to to start with rice cereal. I mentioned I wanted to do BLW instead and he told me to stick to our plan. I can't understand why.
Tradition dictates that I must buy iron-fortified baby rice cereal, prepare it at home, add enough formula to make it runny, and spoon feed it into her little mouth. That is just too unnatural and breaks the laws of nature in my opinion.
Baby Led Weaning is the opposite approach. Instead of boiling fruits and vegetables and pureeing the shit out of them, (or worse, giving her jar food from the store) I'm currently giving her raw produce to suck and gnaw on. She has no teeth, she's not supposed to eat it. She's supposed to explore the food, the texture and the taste of it. She's supposed to hold it in her hand and bring to her mouth herself.
She's just 5 months old right now, so there's no reason for her even eat solids yet. When she turns 6 months, I'll start giving her foods she can safely ingest and digest by herself. Things like steamed vegetables, soft fruits or lightly baked fruits, and also chicken and beef. Depending on what it is, she'll be given a chunk or a strip to hold on to and play with and eat.
But won't she choke? you ask. No, she won't. BLW babies learn to chew first and swallow second, like how you should ingest food. When a baby is ready, she'll move the food to the back of her throat to be swallowed. A sign she's not ready, is gagging. Gagging is not choking. Gagging is when the food has moved too far back and the baby's not ready to swallow, so she gags to move it back up to the front. It's a very smart defense mechanism so that the baby does not choke for real.
In the rare event your baby starts to choke and stops breathing, which can actually happen more easily to a spoon fed baby since they're learning to swallow first and chew second, you start the baby Heimlich maneuver.
But won't she be nutrient deficient since she's not ingesting much food on her own? you ask. No, she consumes all the calories and nutrients she needs in her daily bottles. The real food is a bonus until she's a year old. I don't understand why she would need iron-fortified rice cereal when her formula is already iron fortified and rice is void of any nutritional value, plus it's constipating.
It makes better sense to give her foods that are high in vitamins and minerals instead, like avocado or sweet potato. If my baby didn't get enough to eat, I'd hear about it from her anyway. Babies know when they're hungry and they know when they're full. By allowing my baby to feed herself, I'm not interfering with that ecosystem. She'll naturally stop when she's had enough. Spoon fed babies aren't always granted that same privilege. Parents like to top up their babies, or get their baby to eat just one more bite. If that mentality continues, there's a higher likelihood of childhood obesity.
I have been researching this since I was pregnant. It's the safest, most logical approach to introducing Tesla to the foods she'll be eating for the rest of her life. BLW babies have a wider taste palate, thus consume more healthy foods later on in life, are more self-aware, thus won't be as likely to overeat later on in life, and are generally more independent.
I just don't understand why Tesla's pediatrician would try to steer me away from this. So many parents have had success. I have scoured the internet for naysayers, problems, backlash, anything, and I couldn't find it. He never provided any medical reason to not do it. So, I'm just going to do it anyway.
Wednesday, January 23, 2013
Grocery Shopping Myth
Don't shop when you're hungry. Use a calculator. Make a list. It's common advice that still holds true, but I'm starting to realize that the worst piece of advice I consistently keep hearing is, "stick to the perimeter of the store." Apparently that's where all the best food is. Everything you need to stay on budget and live a healthy life is at the edges of the store, the experts say.
I walked into a Superstore, one different from the one I usually shop at, and a false perimeter was set up. Due to the way the cash registers are set up, shoppers are forced to head toward the non-grocery section of the store, and if they don't need anything there, they can turn and head toward the groceries forcing them to walk passed the longest, aisle of chips I've ever seen! Unless you want to go totally out of your way, the only way to get to the food was to go down this aisle.
If you made it through the chips without adding too many temptations into your cart, you round the corner and into the refrigerated section. First thing you encounter is the puddings, and Pillsbury cans. If you can get passed that, there's the usual cheese, yogurt, butter, milk, juice type stuff. But there's also displays set up in between the aisles and those displays are filled with cookies, crackers, and kids cereal.
Okay, so you make it through that trap and come up on the meat section. It's not all fresh meat. You are forced to pass by a frozen section of appetizers and breaded meats. Trying to get to the fresh produce meant passing by the deli meats, bacon and hot dogs.
Not even the fresh produce section is safe from goodies. All the bulk foods are there, and bins filled with candies and chocolates are on display in large quantities right beside the fruits and vegetables.
Leading out of the produce brings you to the bakery. Grabbing a loaf of bread isn't that simple. They keep it at the back in the corner, so you are forced to tread through pies, cakes, cookies, donuts and various other delicious, sugary baked goods.
You finally think you're on the home stretch, heading toward the checkout. As a last ditch effort you are bombarded by more salty and sweet snacks. There's a display with yogurt covered raisins, chocolate covered pretzels, mixed nuts, and flax corn chips.
Finally, you're waiting in line at the checkout, reading the headlines on the trashy magazines, exhausted from pushing your heavy cart filled with the best foods you can afford and there's the chocolate bars and gum and soda right there for the taking. You could even open it right there because you know you're about to pay for it.
That's the perimeter. The grocery chains are on to us.
I walked into a Superstore, one different from the one I usually shop at, and a false perimeter was set up. Due to the way the cash registers are set up, shoppers are forced to head toward the non-grocery section of the store, and if they don't need anything there, they can turn and head toward the groceries forcing them to walk passed the longest, aisle of chips I've ever seen! Unless you want to go totally out of your way, the only way to get to the food was to go down this aisle.
If you made it through the chips without adding too many temptations into your cart, you round the corner and into the refrigerated section. First thing you encounter is the puddings, and Pillsbury cans. If you can get passed that, there's the usual cheese, yogurt, butter, milk, juice type stuff. But there's also displays set up in between the aisles and those displays are filled with cookies, crackers, and kids cereal.
Okay, so you make it through that trap and come up on the meat section. It's not all fresh meat. You are forced to pass by a frozen section of appetizers and breaded meats. Trying to get to the fresh produce meant passing by the deli meats, bacon and hot dogs.
Not even the fresh produce section is safe from goodies. All the bulk foods are there, and bins filled with candies and chocolates are on display in large quantities right beside the fruits and vegetables.
Leading out of the produce brings you to the bakery. Grabbing a loaf of bread isn't that simple. They keep it at the back in the corner, so you are forced to tread through pies, cakes, cookies, donuts and various other delicious, sugary baked goods.
You finally think you're on the home stretch, heading toward the checkout. As a last ditch effort you are bombarded by more salty and sweet snacks. There's a display with yogurt covered raisins, chocolate covered pretzels, mixed nuts, and flax corn chips.
Finally, you're waiting in line at the checkout, reading the headlines on the trashy magazines, exhausted from pushing your heavy cart filled with the best foods you can afford and there's the chocolate bars and gum and soda right there for the taking. You could even open it right there because you know you're about to pay for it.
That's the perimeter. The grocery chains are on to us.
Tuesday, January 22, 2013
Raising a Kid Costs How Much???
Apparently raising an infant to age 18 in Canada jumped from $160,000 in 2004 to a crazy high of $243,660 today. Across the globe, the cost of having kids is going way up. Some woman in the UK, Hattie Garlick, started a blog (here) about her plan to not spend a dime on her toddler for one year, except for daycare and medical costs.
Responses to such an idea have varied according to the comments I've read under 2 articles about it. (Yahoo! and Embrace the Chaos) For the most part, people are like, Good for you! Awesome idea!
And then other people are like, I'm a poor person and you just insulted me by saying you're going to live like I have to in order to make ends meet.
I don't know what Garlick and her husband's annual income is. I doubt she's rich. I can extrapolate from the article that everything her son owns is brand new and she's bought her son things he doesn't necessarily need, but is probably convenient. I bet her and her husband are just an average middle income family.
You don't have to be rich to spend too much money on your kids. There's so much kid shit out there and if you're a first time parent, you can get caught up in what you think your kid will need and what will make your life better or easier. (Head's up, wet wipes warmers are really dumb!)
People want things that look attractive. People buy things based on their functionality, but for the most part people buy things based on how it looks. There's a warm, fuzzy feeling that washes over you when you walk into a beautifully decorated room with all matching furniture and accents. Parents want that for their baby. They want their mobile over the crib to match the baby blanket and the wall art.
They want their baby to look good and to have entire matching ensembles, where even the bib and socks and hat match perfectly and would look stupid if worn with any other outfit.
They want the diaper bag to match the stroller and the car seat. Does it matter if it matches? No, of course not, but also, yes, it really does matter to a lot of people. They want to look stylish and well put together and not like a multi-family yard sale threw up in their house.
People want things that are convenient. That's where the specialized diaper pails, bottle warmers, bottle sterilizers, and toddler food comes in. Baby Mum-Mum? It's rice cakes and cookies with zero nutritional value. I've done the research. You don't need to buy this stuff, but it makes life easy because you don't have to portion control it and it travels well.
People want smart babies. Even non-competitive parents want smart babies. All those mommy and me classes, special toddler gymnastics and kinder-music are nice if you can afford them, but in reality, if you want to introduce your child to something, it's cheaper and better to do it yourself. A 2 year old that knows how to somersault is no more ahead in life than the 2 year old who doesn't.
Spending zero dollars on a toddler should actually be simple if you're part of a network of moms who can give or lend you toys and clothes for free. Having worked with many toddlers, I've come to the conclusion that all they need is a place to run, a place to colour, and a place to sleep. Everything else you can improvise.
Personally speaking, almost everything Tesla owns was either given as a gift or handed down to her. Excluding formula - which we've spent around about $600 on so far - I've spent about $175 on Telsa. I bought brand new bottles, nipples, diapers, wipes, 2 Christmas outfits, and a bumper book that broke. That's all I got for my money.
I'm lucky enough to have a large and generous network of friends and family, but as you can see, well over $700 has been spent on a 5 month old with barely anything to show for it. If I were to add up the cost of all the gifts and hand me down given to me and buy them myself brand new... I bet I could get married and throw a wedding reception for less money.
No offense to the many poor people insulted by Hattie Garlick's experiment, but any time you fight consumerism, no matter what your income is, you are doing a good thing. Anytime you reuse or recycle you are doing a good thing. Anyone can be frugal, and I think spending zero on her son is going to be a great lesson for everyone involved and great for the environment too.
Responses to such an idea have varied according to the comments I've read under 2 articles about it. (Yahoo! and Embrace the Chaos) For the most part, people are like, Good for you! Awesome idea!
And then other people are like, I'm a poor person and you just insulted me by saying you're going to live like I have to in order to make ends meet.
I don't know what Garlick and her husband's annual income is. I doubt she's rich. I can extrapolate from the article that everything her son owns is brand new and she's bought her son things he doesn't necessarily need, but is probably convenient. I bet her and her husband are just an average middle income family.
You don't have to be rich to spend too much money on your kids. There's so much kid shit out there and if you're a first time parent, you can get caught up in what you think your kid will need and what will make your life better or easier. (Head's up, wet wipes warmers are really dumb!)
People want things that look attractive. People buy things based on their functionality, but for the most part people buy things based on how it looks. There's a warm, fuzzy feeling that washes over you when you walk into a beautifully decorated room with all matching furniture and accents. Parents want that for their baby. They want their mobile over the crib to match the baby blanket and the wall art.
They want their baby to look good and to have entire matching ensembles, where even the bib and socks and hat match perfectly and would look stupid if worn with any other outfit.
They want the diaper bag to match the stroller and the car seat. Does it matter if it matches? No, of course not, but also, yes, it really does matter to a lot of people. They want to look stylish and well put together and not like a multi-family yard sale threw up in their house.
People want things that are convenient. That's where the specialized diaper pails, bottle warmers, bottle sterilizers, and toddler food comes in. Baby Mum-Mum? It's rice cakes and cookies with zero nutritional value. I've done the research. You don't need to buy this stuff, but it makes life easy because you don't have to portion control it and it travels well.
People want smart babies. Even non-competitive parents want smart babies. All those mommy and me classes, special toddler gymnastics and kinder-music are nice if you can afford them, but in reality, if you want to introduce your child to something, it's cheaper and better to do it yourself. A 2 year old that knows how to somersault is no more ahead in life than the 2 year old who doesn't.
Spending zero dollars on a toddler should actually be simple if you're part of a network of moms who can give or lend you toys and clothes for free. Having worked with many toddlers, I've come to the conclusion that all they need is a place to run, a place to colour, and a place to sleep. Everything else you can improvise.
Personally speaking, almost everything Tesla owns was either given as a gift or handed down to her. Excluding formula - which we've spent around about $600 on so far - I've spent about $175 on Telsa. I bought brand new bottles, nipples, diapers, wipes, 2 Christmas outfits, and a bumper book that broke. That's all I got for my money.
I'm lucky enough to have a large and generous network of friends and family, but as you can see, well over $700 has been spent on a 5 month old with barely anything to show for it. If I were to add up the cost of all the gifts and hand me down given to me and buy them myself brand new... I bet I could get married and throw a wedding reception for less money.
No offense to the many poor people insulted by Hattie Garlick's experiment, but any time you fight consumerism, no matter what your income is, you are doing a good thing. Anytime you reuse or recycle you are doing a good thing. Anyone can be frugal, and I think spending zero on her son is going to be a great lesson for everyone involved and great for the environment too.
Monday, January 21, 2013
The Reason Why You Are Fat
The bf and I like to watch The Biggest Loser on tv. I don't find it nearly as interesting as he does, but it's entertaining watching people transform into something better and healthier. The cathartic process the contestants go through, finding themselves and confronting the real reasons behind why they eat and why they are fat really got me thinking about my own weight and life issues.
I know when I started to gain weight. November 2011, 2 months after quitting CBC. Breaking my collar bone, getting pregnant, and not working for a year really helped me pack on the pounds, but there was something deeper behind the weight gain that I realized last night. I don't have a career and I deal with it by eating.
Depressed isn't a word I would use to describe myself today, however, it depresses me to think about how I am not qualified to do anything but babysit, bus tables, and work cash registers. Not having a car makes me feel even worse. And who will look after Tesla if I do find a job somewhere I can bus to and how will Tesla get there? Plus, I need appropriate work clothes and shoes since nothing from my old life fits me anymore. It's easier just sitting on the couch with a bag chips and watching Netflix.
The main reason I quit working at CBC was because I wanted to change careers. That never happened. I got caught in a limbo where my circumstances changed and my goals were set back significantly. I can't get a new career because I don't have the education, yet I can't go back to my old career because of my injury. (I can't carry a tripod over my shoulder because it would aggrivate where I broke my collar bone.)
So, what am I supposed to do to rectify this? I can't continue to sit on the couch, eating chips, ruminating on how sucky my life has become. Feeling sorry for myself got me fat.
I can accept my new life as a stay at home mom and try to make the best of it. Instead of pursing my career goals I can feel satisfied knowing I'm giving my daughter the best possible care by staying with her at home and raising her my way. Perhaps I can work part time weekends at some shitty minimum wage dead end job for extra cash for the family.
I can apply for a mature student loan and go back to school full time this year. Tesla will have to go to daycare and Bob and I will struggle to pay all our bills for the next ten years, but at least I'll have a shot at happiness and a real career too.
Having the title of Stay At Home Mom on my business card is not enough for me. I'm a terrible housewife anyway. I don't want to wait until I'm in my thirties to go back to school. Even if I end up having another child and don't do anything with my degree, I want it. I want it to say that I have it and to make myself feel good and useful. Feeling stuck and helpless is the reason why I am fat.
I don't want to be fat for the rest of my life, but personally, I think a much worse fate would be to have no career for the rest of my life. Having that degree will open a lot of doors for me. I don't have to walk through them, but at least I can get a good cross breeze and feel comfortable knowing the option is there.
I know when I started to gain weight. November 2011, 2 months after quitting CBC. Breaking my collar bone, getting pregnant, and not working for a year really helped me pack on the pounds, but there was something deeper behind the weight gain that I realized last night. I don't have a career and I deal with it by eating.
Depressed isn't a word I would use to describe myself today, however, it depresses me to think about how I am not qualified to do anything but babysit, bus tables, and work cash registers. Not having a car makes me feel even worse. And who will look after Tesla if I do find a job somewhere I can bus to and how will Tesla get there? Plus, I need appropriate work clothes and shoes since nothing from my old life fits me anymore. It's easier just sitting on the couch with a bag chips and watching Netflix.
The main reason I quit working at CBC was because I wanted to change careers. That never happened. I got caught in a limbo where my circumstances changed and my goals were set back significantly. I can't get a new career because I don't have the education, yet I can't go back to my old career because of my injury. (I can't carry a tripod over my shoulder because it would aggrivate where I broke my collar bone.)
So, what am I supposed to do to rectify this? I can't continue to sit on the couch, eating chips, ruminating on how sucky my life has become. Feeling sorry for myself got me fat.
I can accept my new life as a stay at home mom and try to make the best of it. Instead of pursing my career goals I can feel satisfied knowing I'm giving my daughter the best possible care by staying with her at home and raising her my way. Perhaps I can work part time weekends at some shitty minimum wage dead end job for extra cash for the family.
or
I can apply for a mature student loan and go back to school full time this year. Tesla will have to go to daycare and Bob and I will struggle to pay all our bills for the next ten years, but at least I'll have a shot at happiness and a real career too.
Having the title of Stay At Home Mom on my business card is not enough for me. I'm a terrible housewife anyway. I don't want to wait until I'm in my thirties to go back to school. Even if I end up having another child and don't do anything with my degree, I want it. I want it to say that I have it and to make myself feel good and useful. Feeling stuck and helpless is the reason why I am fat.
I don't want to be fat for the rest of my life, but personally, I think a much worse fate would be to have no career for the rest of my life. Having that degree will open a lot of doors for me. I don't have to walk through them, but at least I can get a good cross breeze and feel comfortable knowing the option is there.
Monday, January 14, 2013
Malcolm in the Middle
Malcolm in the Middle is a fantastic sitcom that ran for 6 years starting in the year 2000. Perhaps you remember watching it back in the day? It's about a gifted middle child, Malcolm, who has 3 brothers and lives in a seemingly dysfunctional family.
I've been re-watching the series on Netflix and that lead me to imdb.com to read more about a particular episode I saw. Someone posted a thread saying that he thought the parents, Lois and Hal, were abusive to their sons. His examples included how they were always yelling at their kids and how they often gave cruel and unusual punishments that didn't always fit the crime.
I completely disagree!
The show is a classic situational comedy. It is real life, mundane events, blown out of proportion and magnified for the viewers at home in order to get a laugh and make a buck. Every character is an extract of a real person; a caricature if you will. These aren't one-dimensional people by any means, but at least one thing about each person is truly embellished and focused on more closely than you would on any person in your real life.
Lois is the stressed out mother that yells all the time. Hal is the spaced out father. Then there's the kids: The defiant one, rebelling against the world; the reckless one who doesn't have a clue; the precocious one with a chip on his shoulder; and the naive one who's smarter than he lets on.
That's their family in a nutshell, but when you really think about it, these characters are very relate-able. Think about your own family dynamic. Think about the sibling rivalry and also the comradeship when you ganged together against a common enemy.
Think of all the times you tried not to get caught doing something you knew you'd get in trouble for. Think of all the times you ratted out your brother or sister. Think of all the different punishments you received for all the rules you broke and all the lies you told.
Maybe you have too many stories to recount, or maybe they're far and few between. The point is, each episode overemphasizes a small part of your childhood and blows it up, way out of proportion to the rest of your life. That's what makes it so funny. Especially when you see how "perfect" everyone else in the community is in comparison. We've all felt that way before, trying to keep our grass as green as it looks on the other side.
Malcolm in the Middle is real life amplified, just like Friends or Seinfeld, or any other sitcom that ever has been or ever will be. Lois and Hal are not abusive parents. They are an exaggeration of our parents on a bad day. Francis, Reece, Malcolm, and Dewey are an exaggeration of you and me and our brothers and sisters doing the stupidest things we would only dream of doing.
It's hilarious. That guy on imdb.com doesn't know what he's talking about and obviously doesn't understand the concept of the show.
I've been re-watching the series on Netflix and that lead me to imdb.com to read more about a particular episode I saw. Someone posted a thread saying that he thought the parents, Lois and Hal, were abusive to their sons. His examples included how they were always yelling at their kids and how they often gave cruel and unusual punishments that didn't always fit the crime.
I completely disagree!
The show is a classic situational comedy. It is real life, mundane events, blown out of proportion and magnified for the viewers at home in order to get a laugh and make a buck. Every character is an extract of a real person; a caricature if you will. These aren't one-dimensional people by any means, but at least one thing about each person is truly embellished and focused on more closely than you would on any person in your real life.
Lois is the stressed out mother that yells all the time. Hal is the spaced out father. Then there's the kids: The defiant one, rebelling against the world; the reckless one who doesn't have a clue; the precocious one with a chip on his shoulder; and the naive one who's smarter than he lets on.
That's their family in a nutshell, but when you really think about it, these characters are very relate-able. Think about your own family dynamic. Think about the sibling rivalry and also the comradeship when you ganged together against a common enemy.
Think of all the times you tried not to get caught doing something you knew you'd get in trouble for. Think of all the times you ratted out your brother or sister. Think of all the different punishments you received for all the rules you broke and all the lies you told.
Maybe you have too many stories to recount, or maybe they're far and few between. The point is, each episode overemphasizes a small part of your childhood and blows it up, way out of proportion to the rest of your life. That's what makes it so funny. Especially when you see how "perfect" everyone else in the community is in comparison. We've all felt that way before, trying to keep our grass as green as it looks on the other side.
Malcolm in the Middle is real life amplified, just like Friends or Seinfeld, or any other sitcom that ever has been or ever will be. Lois and Hal are not abusive parents. They are an exaggeration of our parents on a bad day. Francis, Reece, Malcolm, and Dewey are an exaggeration of you and me and our brothers and sisters doing the stupidest things we would only dream of doing.
It's hilarious. That guy on imdb.com doesn't know what he's talking about and obviously doesn't understand the concept of the show.
Tuesday, January 8, 2013
No Change Table Debacle
Long story short, the restaurant, Earl's, doesn't have changing tables or high chairs at their restaurant. They openly discourage people bringing their young children to their restaurant even though similar places, like The Keg, do not. Link to article here.
I posted a comment that said if a restaurant didn't offer a change table and there were no couches in the ladies room, I would ask the manager where I could change my baby's diaper. If the manager couldn't help me, I would just change my baby on an empty table. I'm not getting on my hands and knees, especially if I'm dressed nice, to change my baby on a dirty public floor.
Holy backlash batman!
A bunch of people commented and told me I was a gross and disgusting person, violating health and safety laws and that servers aren't required to "clean that up."
I was told to feed my baby at home or just leave my baby at home.
Someone said I probably want to bring my baby to a strip club too because I feel so entitled to bring my baby where ever I want even if it's not appropriate.
I was told to call ahead and see if the restaurant is family friendly and then go somewhere else.
I was told to eat at Denny's and other such shitty restaurants.
I was also told that I was a bad parent and someone said they felt bad for my baby having to be raised by a person like me.
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Apparently there are kid restaurants, family restaurants, and adult restaurants, and we should ban children from adult restaurants because nobody, not even those who have kids, want to listen to screaming and crying and bad behavior while dining out at an adult restaurant.
Typically when you have a date night, or are going to enjoy some drinks with friends, you choose the more upscale places, maybe Earl's or Moxies, or Joey's, or The Keg. Typically children are left at home with a babysitter.
But what if you're having dinner with your family to celebrate something? Grandma doesn't want to celebrate her birthday at Denny's just because they happen to have a change table so I can come. Grandma's also not going to say, Hey let's go to Earl's, and leave my great-grandchild at home because people on dates might be offended.
If you absolutely do not wish to be disturbed by any children whatsover here are a list of places that you can go:
If you have lots of money, perhaps you can try:
I don't expect every where I go to cater to my baby's needs, but that's not going to stop me from living my life to the fullest, going to the places and events that I feel like, and having fun and feeling included.
If you invite me and Bob somewhere, you are inviting our baby by default and it's our choice whether we bring her or not.
I posted a comment that said if a restaurant didn't offer a change table and there were no couches in the ladies room, I would ask the manager where I could change my baby's diaper. If the manager couldn't help me, I would just change my baby on an empty table. I'm not getting on my hands and knees, especially if I'm dressed nice, to change my baby on a dirty public floor.
Holy backlash batman!
A bunch of people commented and told me I was a gross and disgusting person, violating health and safety laws and that servers aren't required to "clean that up."
I was told to feed my baby at home or just leave my baby at home.
Someone said I probably want to bring my baby to a strip club too because I feel so entitled to bring my baby where ever I want even if it's not appropriate.
I was told to call ahead and see if the restaurant is family friendly and then go somewhere else.
I was told to eat at Denny's and other such shitty restaurants.
I was also told that I was a bad parent and someone said they felt bad for my baby having to be raised by a person like me.
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Apparently there are kid restaurants, family restaurants, and adult restaurants, and we should ban children from adult restaurants because nobody, not even those who have kids, want to listen to screaming and crying and bad behavior while dining out at an adult restaurant.
Typically when you have a date night, or are going to enjoy some drinks with friends, you choose the more upscale places, maybe Earl's or Moxies, or Joey's, or The Keg. Typically children are left at home with a babysitter.
But what if you're having dinner with your family to celebrate something? Grandma doesn't want to celebrate her birthday at Denny's just because they happen to have a change table so I can come. Grandma's also not going to say, Hey let's go to Earl's, and leave my great-grandchild at home because people on dates might be offended.
If you absolutely do not wish to be disturbed by any children whatsover here are a list of places that you can go:
- strip club
- lounge
- dance club
- casino
- pub
If you have lots of money, perhaps you can try:
- your private yacht in the middle of the ocean
- your private jet, whisking you away to your private island.
- your underground, secret lair.
I don't expect every where I go to cater to my baby's needs, but that's not going to stop me from living my life to the fullest, going to the places and events that I feel like, and having fun and feeling included.
If you invite me and Bob somewhere, you are inviting our baby by default and it's our choice whether we bring her or not.
