I don't even know what to title this!

I keep thinking about the future and feeling nostalgic, which doesn't make any sense - except that I don't know any other way to explain it. It's like having a premonition that history will repeat itself.

I feel really open-minded right now. Like I'm going with the flow, and for once in my life, not waiting for something to happen.

And there's all these things I feel like talking about, but I don't really know how materialize what I'm thinking about into words. This blog post is a bust, I'm aware.

Even if I were to try to share with you, I wouldn't know where to start! Sometimes I don't even know what I'm thinking about. But what I can say is that I'm excited for what's to come in the next 4 months.

I've finished my book and plan to distribute free copies (to those who are worthy) before Christmas. I might be taking a short trip to California in October. (If I do, I'll bring some books with me to spread my propaganda, guerrilla style.) I'm helping my sister move to Brandon to go to college next weekend.

My good friend Carly came out for a visit last week. She said, wouldn't it be cool if you could write a letter to your future daughter? Or write a letter to each others daughter telling her what her mom (we) was like at her age?

I think that's a fantastic idea and I've been thinking about it a lot lately. What would I say to Carly's little girl at age 10, 13, 16, 18? What would I say to my own little girl? What if I had a son? Would I write him a letter too? What if Carly had a son? I've been jotting down some notes.

I'd rather have a daughter than a son. Boys are gross and have cooties. I also hope my future son never reads this blog post and resents me haha.

Speeches often come to me in my dreams. I wrote the speech I'm going to say at Carly's wedding in my sleep. When I woke up I quickly wrote down everything I could remember. It's a good speech. I've written toasts and planned out how I'd execute big announcements while sleeping.

I also dream about giving eulogies too. I don't write those down though because it's depressing. But I've written numerous eulogies in my sleep for my father, my sister, my friends, my grandma... even my own boyfriend! But never for my mother. Somehow I feel like she will never die.

I can't believe this simple blog post that was supposed to be short and about nothing turned into a rambling tale of weirdness. Thanks to whoever made it to the end. Also, when I said was going to spread my propaganda throughout California guerrilla style, I meant like, through the element of surprise. I'll leave my book by the toilet in the public washroom, or in a bus shack, or wherever suits my fancy. They'll never expect it because I'm Canadian and not wearing proper military attire.

HLTGH

Healthful Living Through Guilt and Humiliation has come to an end. I have taken down all of my signage and thrown it out for good. It worked for the first two weeks. I was stoked on it. The third week I started slipping... not marking down how often I was exercising. The fourth week was an all out failure. I didn't even go to the gym once in the fourth week. I went for a bike ride once.

I think the problem with HLTGH was that I became accustomed to my signs and started to tune them out. They became a part of the scenery instead of standing out. To solve that problem, I would probably have to make new signs and post them in different places to mix it up and keep things fresh. That wastes a lot of paper and tape though.

I have a new plan though. I bought a couple hypnosis CD's.
Although hypnotherapy is a pseudo-science, I do believe that it can have a positive effect on your life. These CD's are about an hour long each. The first 30 minutes is a woman talking in a soothing and relaxing voice. She's telling you positive and reassuring things to boost your self-esteem and increase your motivation to reach your goals. The last 30 minutes is the same messages, but with music over top. The music is apparently new age and relaxing.

They weren't expensive at all and I feel really strongly about this. I've always been interested in hypnosis and hypnotherapy. I think it's a great alternative to colon cleanses and diet pills. Humans are creatures of habit and it's extremely difficult to break those habits. (Especially if you've spent years perfecting your bad habit!) I believe these hypnosis CD's will re-wire my brain so to speak so that I can start looking at food and exercise differently from how I have been.

I'm already consciously trying to make an effort, but sometimes you need more than that. Sometimes you need a little help from you sub-conscious.

Bullies

I was reading an article in the Free Press about how a mother whose son has been bullied at school for years is now taking kick boxing lessons. The mother has given her son full permission to beat up the bully at school should he be confronted.

The school is like, no, no, no, that's not how we do things. There's protocols, there's rules, there's a better way of handing this internally. But this has been going on for years! The mother has repeatedly had meetings with the school regarding the bully issue and it has yet to be resolved.

Personally, I have to side with the mother on this one. Bullying is a very effective method of getting what you want. The ability to scare, overwhelm, and intimidate others by using physical or emotional abuse can come in pretty handy sometimes.

My mom is a teacher in an elementary school. She deals with this stuff all the time. It's the same students over and over again who never learn, no matter how many time outs they get, no matter how many notes get sent home, or how many times they're sent to the principal's office. Sometimes it can even make things worse. The bully feels like his victim got him in trouble (rather than he got himself in trouble) and so the cycle continues and progressively gets worse until one day, the victim switches schools, or the bully is expelled. There have been worse consequences like suicide, and even bringing weapons to school. (Hello Columbine! The shooters had been called fagots by their peers for years.)

Breaking the cycle (and having everyone stay alive) would be a nice alternative, wouldn't it?

Although my own mother would never condone it, she is secretly proud when the bully gets what's coming to him. The only way for a bully to taste his own medicine is to fight fire with fire.

If you're getting physically beat up... all it takes is one really great punch in the bully's face to prove that a) you're no longer a victim and b) that's what it feels like. Not so great, huh?

If you're getting mocked and teased... all it takes is a few snappy comebacks. Being quick witted and saying something to the bully to take the heat off of yourself is a good thing.

Sometimes standing up to a bully will lead to blood, tears, and detention, but that should not be a deterrence. Standing up to a bully is courageous. It's the right thing to do. It's what needs to be done. If a man can be acquitted of killing another man by saying he did it in self-defense, what the hell is wrong with a child defending himself from bullying by using his own bodily strength and brain power?

The mother who is letting her son take kick boxing lessons to defend himself against a bully is doing the right thing. (Provided her son also knows to use his powers for good and not evil.) She can't be by her son's side every minute of the day, paving the road ahead of him to make sure he has a smooth ride. The amount of confidence and self-esteem her son used to have has probably quadrupled by now. And even if her child never delivers a single blow on the playground, he will always have that edge and I believe that will carry him until his graduation and into his adulthood.

Pills

I hate pills. There is a pill for everything and that gets on my nerves. What infuriates me even more though is the amount of pills I personally consume, some even on a daily basis.

We've got the birth control pill, the allergy meds to replace the cold and sinus infection pills, the multivitamin, the iron pill, the vitamin C pill to help the iron pill digest better, my herbal sleeping pills made in Switzerland, the aspirin (I rarely take it though), and as of lately Pepto Bismol in pill form (because drinking something that pink grosses me out.)

I'm a regular fucking pharmacy.

I hate taking my birth control pill because of all the side effects, (dry eyes, headaches, nausea.) That's where the aspirin and Pepto pills come in. I hate my allergy pills because I feel they don't work and I don't even know what other brand to try because the doctor gave me a bunch for free and I haven't used them all up yet. I've stopped taking the iron pill and the vitamin C pill on a daily basis and instead take it for three days at the end of the month. I only take the multivitamin when I know I've had a bad diet for the day. Thankfully I haven't been needing to take the sleeping pills as often I was before.

My point is, our society and culture REVOLVES around pills and supplements! It makes me sick - but I've got a pill for that. I even dragged David into the mess. I bought him some multivitamins, ginko biloba, and ginseng. It's supposed to help with energy and junk like that. I sometimes I take them too when I'm having a rough morning.

As my mother used to always say, you don't need to take a multivitamin if you eat properly. So true! I absolutely agree. And almost everything you buy is fortified in some way or another, it's nearly impossible not to get your daily recommended percentage of whatever vitamin or mineral. And yet we still aren't healthy. We don't feel healthy. We feel lethargic and blah.

Next thing you know there will be a world wide famine because all of our edible plants will go extinct and we'll eat all of our meals in pill form. The pills will be orange or chocolate flavoured (because most chewable pills are those two flavours) and be perfectly balanced meals.

But because nearly everyone in North America is obese, we'll still eat our normal genetically modified snacks made with chemicals and bio-engineered flavours. I don't even know if that sentence made sense, but I feel strongly about it.

There will be no seeds of life... just pills of life.

Make-Up

I decided this morning while doing my make-up that if I had to choose only ONE piece of make-up to wear for the rest of my life, I would choose mascara.
(And that photo I uploaded is frightening, but I wanted to make sure my male readers knew wtf I was talking about.)

A few minutes later I thought, oh shit, maybe I should have chosen concealer instead... but alas I'm sticking with mascara. Concealer only would make my face look boring.

I love the way mascara makes my eyelashes look! If I never wore eyeliner or eye shadow my eyes would still look pretty with just the mascara. In fact, when I'm too lazy to do my make up properly, I have often just opted for using concealer and mascara only.

Mind Reading

Everyday, I live with the fear of the thought of somebody being able to read my mind. I don't know where this notion ever started from, or how many years it has been going on for, but I can tell you that it's real and I've thought about it since I was child.

I guess I don't live with the fear every single day, since I don't get the feeling that my mind is being read every single day, but there are times when I'm suddenly very aware of my thoughts and wondering if any body else heard my thoughts.

Like for example, on the bus on the way to work, I sat near a young guy at the very back of the bus. I had seen him once before. I noticed he was wearing the same pants from when I first saw him. When he decided to get off the bus he pulled the string to make the bus stop, except it didn't work.

He got up, walked to the exit door, (the one in the middle of the bus that everyone is supposed to use to exit the bus, NOT THE FRONT!) He pushes the stop button. It works. He stands there and waits.

Then he walks all way to the front of the bus to exit. What a moron! He was already at the proper exit. I don't understand why people sit at the very back of the bus and then walk all the way to the front of the bus to exit. Idiots!

Anyway, I'm thinking all of this in my head. As he walks past the bus on the sidewalk we make eye contact for a split second.

Immediately I start saying "Lemon Sherbet. Lemon Sherbet." over and over again in my head. That's what I say in my head when I want to confuse the people who are reading my mind so that they don't know what I'm really thinking. I read about it in a book once. Long time ago.

I had been silently making fun of this guy and when we made eye contact for that split second I thought oh my fucking god he can read my mind. That's why he looked at me! He knows I was making fun of him! Lemon Sherbet. Lemon Sherbet. Lemon Sherbet.

Basically, any time I am thinking about a person and then that person says what I'm thinking, or makes eye contact with me from across a room, or if a stranger gives me funny look, or smiles at me and I've been thinking about them it gives me the creeps. It's just weird and totally random, but at the same time, I can't help but believe they read my mind.

I'm sure there are people out there in the world who were born with telepathic powers. I'd rather they didn't read my mind. That's not polite. I wish I could read minds though. It would be fascinating. And I would use my powers to benefit me and flatter others to get my way in life.

Chart

The curious thing about exercise is that the more energy you expel now, the more energy you will have later. It almost doesn't make sense.

Today I did one hour and 10 minutes of low intensity exercise at the gym. I feel wonderful. Because I love visual aids so much, I've also hung up a new chart on the dining room wall to accompany my motivating signage. It is a simple bar graph chart to represent how many minutes of low and high intensity exercise I'm doing in a day.

I have a pink and yellow highlighter taped to the wall and I'm colouring in how many minutes a day I'm exercising so that I can remind myself (a) how many minutes I've exercised during the week, and (b) to exercise more so I don't look like an idiot when guests come over and comment.

I'm all about the humiliation. Fuck, it's like I'm in kindergarten - add some shiny star and happy face stickers and I'm all set to go! I spent a good 20 minutes this morning making the chart. I put a lot of time and love into it so that I would care deeply about it and use it properly. I want to make sure I reach my goals. I believe charting my progress will make me more aware of how much I'm doing, (or not doing for that matter.)

The 6 Tastes Blog

To start things off, here is a chart regarding the 6 tastes that I found online. Apparently the 6 tastes are a guide map to optimal nutrition and naturally lead in the right direction to properly nourish ourselves.

Taste		Primary Actions		Common Sources
Sweet		Builds tissues, calms nerves		Fruit, grains, natural sugars, milk
Sour		Cleanses tissues, increases absorption of minerals		Sour fruits, yogurt, fermented foods
Salty		Improves taste to food, lubricates tissues, stimulates digestion		Natural salts, sea vegetables
Bitter		Detoxifies and lightens tissues		Dark leafy greens, herbs and spices
Pungent		Stimulates digestion and metabolism		Chili peppers, garlic, herbs and spices
Astringent		Absorbs water, tightens tissues, dries fats		Legumes, raw fruits and vegetables, herbs

I'm not sure where meat fits in with this chart, but I've started thinking a lot about the food I eat. Every time I take a mouthful I think about which of the 6 tastes I'm consuming and focus on the flavour.

This peach yogurt is indeed sour. The oregano in my cheese scones is quite pungent. Oh how this apple is astringent.

"The brain sends the body signals when it requires energy in the form of food. By incorporating all 6 Tastes into each meal, we ensure that these signals are adequately met, thus avoiding food cravings or the over-consumption of certain foods."

That makes sense. I don't have a sweet tooth, but for some reason I love salty foods, especially tortilla chips, popcorn, and nuts. I don't add salt to any of my cooking. My dad taught me at a young age about how to use spices and herbs properly. I read that in order to curb my salt cravings I should eat mineral salt instead of table salt. I'm not craving salt, but more likely the minerals that supposed to be in salt, but are removed from table salt.

Another thing I can do to stop salt cravings is to eat broccoli. I love broccoli and eat it often and I'd have to say I find that I crave less salt after eating broccoli. Foods rich in vitamin C and potassium are also supposed to help. I hate bananas, but after eating one I do find they help stop cravings.

But back to this tastes thing... Here's another chart.

Balancing the Doshas Through Taste

Most Balancing Most Aggravating Vata Sweet, Sour, Salty Bitter, Pungent, Astringent Pitta Sweet, Bitter, Astringent Sour, Salty, Pungent Kapha Pungent, Bitter, Astringent Sweet, Sour, Salty

People of the world are either Vatas Pittas, or Kaphas. (I bet I'm the Vata.) And your body is supposed to naturally want to balance itself out by eating more of a certain taste of food. It's all part of your "Doshic Makeup." As a vata, I'm naturally inclined to eat foods that are sweet, sour, and salty, but avoid eating foods that are bitter, pungent, and astringent. I believe that statement to be true. Everybody requires all six tastes for optimal health, but my body requires a smaller quantity of my "aggravating tastes." I hope that made sense.

I was also going to talk about tea in the blog, but it's gotten to long now. I have more charts and stuff to share regarding certain tea recipes. As an avid tea drinker, I find it quite interesting and I think I might start making my own teas.

New Strategy

I know I said my next blog would be about tea, but I have a very special interruption to tell you about.

Okay, I have implemented a new weight loss strategy in my home. I have posted tacky and annoying signage around my apartment in very obvious places that I cannot miss! I'm so glad I never have guests over because it is embarrassing to have around.

There are two things that will never fail to work on me: Visual Aids and Guilt Trips. My signage does both.

Written on small, but not too small, scraps of paper are keywords that are to help motivate me to go to the gym and think twice about eating junk food. The keywords are "GYM!" and "FAT!" and "30 lbs"

If you are smirking right now, I don't blame you, but I'm positive it will work. I need constant reminders that I have a goal that I want to reach. I'm not setting a deadline by any means, but I really would like to change my lifestyle.

I can never finish what I start and that annoys me. And I hate being annoyed. I want to go to the gym. I want to lose 30 lbs. I want to stop eating crap. I enjoy being at the gym, but I'm too lazy to go there and that's stupid of me. (And no David, I don't want to ride my dumb bike, I hate that bike, so buy me a brand new awesome bike, or else shut up about it!) (P.S. Dave really loves my shout outs to him! Hi Hunny!)

Sometimes I drive myself insane because I do really well for a few days, and then I crack and make nachos or eat half a bag of semi-sweet chocolate chips. Do you know what semi-sweet chocolate chips taste like??? Here's an analogy: Alcohol is to mouthwash as milk chocolate is to semi-sweet chocolate chips. Like, whatever happened to my meat and vegetable diet? No clue! I don't even remember what happened. I was probably tempted by a bowl of evil pasta or something.

I'm terrible. I read so much information online and I get myself all excited and worked up about working out and cooking vegan meals. Then when I go shopping I buy a pork steak and ice cream. It's like, what the fuck are you doing Chelsea? Seriously? (P.S. pork and dairy aren't vegan.)

Apparently taking birth control pills won't help my cause either. I read about a study they did where they found the women who were on the pill and followed the exact same diet and exercise plan as a woman not on the pill had a significantly harder time losing weight and gaining muscle.

I'm confident my little reminders will be an asset to my long term strategy. As soon as I reach my goal, or are somehow able to get into a steady routine, I will take down the signs.

I have nobody to help me except me, so I better start helping myself. These signs in my apartment a start. Herbal tea is the other thing I'm working on. I promise I'll let you know.

A Different Path

Sometimes I wonder about how different my life would be...

If I had never gone to Brandon to go to college, would I be better friends with those I'd gone to high school with? Would I have never met Dave or any of my collage buddies? Or would we have found each other in a different way?

If I had decided to take my practicum in Regina instead of Winnipeg, would I be having more fun living away from my family, or would I miss everyone too much and wonder what it would be like if I had taken my practicum in Winnipeg?

If I had never decided to go into media, would I still be taking courses at the University of Winnipeg or the University of Manitoba? Would I be working some lame minimum wage job that I hated? Would I curse myself for never going to Brandon?

I think I've taken the "correct" path. I think I've made (some) wise decisions. I can't really imagine my life going in any other direction. I can't really see things being any other way. But I do still wonder... would I be saying the exact same thing had I chosen a different way?

There's some people I wish I hadn't lost touch with, but then again, it's never too late to rekindle an old friendship. There's also many friends I've been able to keep close to through the years.

But enough about that... I'm starting yet another exercise program. My father made a comment about my weight yesterday when I went to visit him. It wasn't hurtful or anything, but he did comment and I thought oh fuck, he's right. I need to quit dicking around and start doing it up properly. I haven't been to the gym in 3 months. I HAVE been walking or riding my bike to work though. I'm proud of that much!

I need to do more. I'll tell you some of my other research in my next blog. It will be about the 6 tastes: sweet, salty, sour, pungent, astringent, and bitter. Also, it will be about tea. I've been researching about tea and have found a few interesting facts. Stay tuned.