Malcolm in the Middle is a fantastic sitcom that ran for 6 years starting in the year 2000. Perhaps you remember watching it back in the day? It's about a gifted middle child, Malcolm, who has 3 brothers and lives in a seemingly dysfunctional family.
I've been re-watching the series on Netflix and that lead me to imdb.com to read more about a particular episode I saw. Someone posted a thread saying that he thought the parents, Lois and Hal, were abusive to their sons. His examples included how they were always yelling at their kids and how they often gave cruel and unusual punishments that didn't always fit the crime.
I completely disagree!
The show is a classic situational comedy. It is real life, mundane events, blown out of proportion and magnified for the viewers at home in order to get a laugh and make a buck. Every character is an extract of a real person; a caricature if you will. These aren't one-dimensional people by any means, but at least one thing about each person is truly embellished and focused on more closely than you would on any person in your real life.
Lois is the stressed out mother that yells all the time. Hal is the spaced out father. Then there's the kids: The defiant one, rebelling against the world; the reckless one who doesn't have a clue; the precocious one with a chip on his shoulder; and the naive one who's smarter than he lets on.
That's their family in a nutshell, but when you really think about it, these characters are very relate-able. Think about your own family dynamic. Think about the sibling rivalry and also the comradeship when you ganged together against a common enemy.
Think of all the times you tried not to get caught doing something you knew you'd get in trouble for. Think of all the times you ratted out your brother or sister. Think of all the different punishments you received for all the rules you broke and all the lies you told.
Maybe you have too many stories to recount, or maybe they're far and few between. The point is, each episode overemphasizes a small part of your childhood and blows it up, way out of proportion to the rest of your life. That's what makes it so funny. Especially when you see how "perfect" everyone else in the community is in comparison. We've all felt that way before, trying to keep our grass as green as it looks on the other side.
Malcolm in the Middle is real life amplified, just like Friends or Seinfeld, or any other sitcom that ever has been or ever will be. Lois and Hal are not abusive parents. They are an exaggeration of our parents on a bad day. Francis, Reece, Malcolm, and Dewey are an exaggeration of you and me and our brothers and sisters doing the stupidest things we would only dream of doing.
It's hilarious. That guy on imdb.com doesn't know what he's talking about and obviously doesn't understand the concept of the show.
Monday, January 14, 2013
Tuesday, January 8, 2013
No Change Table Debacle
Long story short, the restaurant, Earl's, doesn't have changing tables or high chairs at their restaurant. They openly discourage people bringing their young children to their restaurant even though similar places, like The Keg, do not. Link to article here.
I posted a comment that said if a restaurant didn't offer a change table and there were no couches in the ladies room, I would ask the manager where I could change my baby's diaper. If the manager couldn't help me, I would just change my baby on an empty table. I'm not getting on my hands and knees, especially if I'm dressed nice, to change my baby on a dirty public floor.
Holy backlash batman!
A bunch of people commented and told me I was a gross and disgusting person, violating health and safety laws and that servers aren't required to "clean that up."
I was told to feed my baby at home or just leave my baby at home.
Someone said I probably want to bring my baby to a strip club too because I feel so entitled to bring my baby where ever I want even if it's not appropriate.
I was told to call ahead and see if the restaurant is family friendly and then go somewhere else.
I was told to eat at Denny's and other such shitty restaurants.
I was also told that I was a bad parent and someone said they felt bad for my baby having to be raised by a person like me.
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Apparently there are kid restaurants, family restaurants, and adult restaurants, and we should ban children from adult restaurants because nobody, not even those who have kids, want to listen to screaming and crying and bad behavior while dining out at an adult restaurant.
Typically when you have a date night, or are going to enjoy some drinks with friends, you choose the more upscale places, maybe Earl's or Moxies, or Joey's, or The Keg. Typically children are left at home with a babysitter.
But what if you're having dinner with your family to celebrate something? Grandma doesn't want to celebrate her birthday at Denny's just because they happen to have a change table so I can come. Grandma's also not going to say, Hey let's go to Earl's, and leave my great-grandchild at home because people on dates might be offended.
If you absolutely do not wish to be disturbed by any children whatsover here are a list of places that you can go:
If you have lots of money, perhaps you can try:
I don't expect every where I go to cater to my baby's needs, but that's not going to stop me from living my life to the fullest, going to the places and events that I feel like, and having fun and feeling included.
If you invite me and Bob somewhere, you are inviting our baby by default and it's our choice whether we bring her or not.
I posted a comment that said if a restaurant didn't offer a change table and there were no couches in the ladies room, I would ask the manager where I could change my baby's diaper. If the manager couldn't help me, I would just change my baby on an empty table. I'm not getting on my hands and knees, especially if I'm dressed nice, to change my baby on a dirty public floor.
Holy backlash batman!
A bunch of people commented and told me I was a gross and disgusting person, violating health and safety laws and that servers aren't required to "clean that up."
I was told to feed my baby at home or just leave my baby at home.
Someone said I probably want to bring my baby to a strip club too because I feel so entitled to bring my baby where ever I want even if it's not appropriate.
I was told to call ahead and see if the restaurant is family friendly and then go somewhere else.
I was told to eat at Denny's and other such shitty restaurants.
I was also told that I was a bad parent and someone said they felt bad for my baby having to be raised by a person like me.
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Apparently there are kid restaurants, family restaurants, and adult restaurants, and we should ban children from adult restaurants because nobody, not even those who have kids, want to listen to screaming and crying and bad behavior while dining out at an adult restaurant.
Typically when you have a date night, or are going to enjoy some drinks with friends, you choose the more upscale places, maybe Earl's or Moxies, or Joey's, or The Keg. Typically children are left at home with a babysitter.
But what if you're having dinner with your family to celebrate something? Grandma doesn't want to celebrate her birthday at Denny's just because they happen to have a change table so I can come. Grandma's also not going to say, Hey let's go to Earl's, and leave my great-grandchild at home because people on dates might be offended.
If you absolutely do not wish to be disturbed by any children whatsover here are a list of places that you can go:
- strip club
- lounge
- dance club
- casino
- pub
If you have lots of money, perhaps you can try:
- your private yacht in the middle of the ocean
- your private jet, whisking you away to your private island.
- your underground, secret lair.
I don't expect every where I go to cater to my baby's needs, but that's not going to stop me from living my life to the fullest, going to the places and events that I feel like, and having fun and feeling included.
If you invite me and Bob somewhere, you are inviting our baby by default and it's our choice whether we bring her or not.
Monday, December 31, 2012
My Resolutions 2013
Now it's time for the annual list of resolutions.
The link for last year's resolutions blog post can be found here.
For a brief refresher, in 2012 I vowed to:
First Resolution: I did not completely pay off my credit card or my line of credit. Not even close. In my defense, I only worked 273 insurable hours and was living off EI for most of the year, or had no income altogether. I tried really hard not to rack up any more debt I will successfully pay off my car loan in March a whole 2 years earlier than I was supposed to. I feel really good about that!
Second Resolution: I did not lose any weight this year. In fact, I gained lots of weight because of my pregnancy. Weeks after giving birth, I lost a lot of weight, but then gained half of it back. I'm going to be very honest with you; I don't care about my weight right now. I'm not even trying to "get back my body."
Third Resolution: I did in fact avoid pole dancing while drunk. I avoided pole dancing altogether. I also avoided being drunk 8 months of the year. Thanks pregnancy!
But what about 2013? I really want to pick some good resolutions that are obtainable and most importantly, meaningful. Without further ado, here are my resolutions for 2013.
The link for last year's resolutions blog post can be found here.
For a brief refresher, in 2012 I vowed to:
- Completely pay off my credit card and line of credit.
- Lose an unspecified amount of weight
- Avoid pole dancing while drunk
First Resolution: I did not completely pay off my credit card or my line of credit. Not even close. In my defense, I only worked 273 insurable hours and was living off EI for most of the year, or had no income altogether. I tried really hard not to rack up any more debt I will successfully pay off my car loan in March a whole 2 years earlier than I was supposed to. I feel really good about that!
Second Resolution: I did not lose any weight this year. In fact, I gained lots of weight because of my pregnancy. Weeks after giving birth, I lost a lot of weight, but then gained half of it back. I'm going to be very honest with you; I don't care about my weight right now. I'm not even trying to "get back my body."
Third Resolution: I did in fact avoid pole dancing while drunk. I avoided pole dancing altogether. I also avoided being drunk 8 months of the year. Thanks pregnancy!
But what about 2013? I really want to pick some good resolutions that are obtainable and most importantly, meaningful. Without further ado, here are my resolutions for 2013.
- Save $5000 by the end of the year.
This is important to me because for two years in a row I wanted to reduce my debt load and for two years in a row, I failed. How about I focus on increasing my savings instead? Bob and I want to buy a house someday soon, so we need to get saving. - Have the living room and kitchen "company ready" 24/7.
Now that I'm a home maker, I feel like my house should be cleaner. I'm home all day almost every day and it would be nice to have something to show for it. Plus with Tesla so low to the ground, she would probably appreciate a clean surface to slobber on. - Have a nutritious, home cooked meal on the table, to be eaten at the table, every day by 6pm.
This one sort of ties into my second resolution. My boyfriend works hard all day and I want him to come home to a wonderful meal. Also, it's important to me that we sit down at our kitchen table and eat as a family, especially as Tesla gets older.
We usually eat our meals on the couch in front of the TV and use our table as storage for stuff we should put away, but are too lazy to. It's terrible.
Saturday, December 22, 2012
2012: The Year of the Big Headache
As 2012 comes to a close and we arbitrarily approach 2013, I'd like to take a moment to review how the year went. Back in 2011, I knew that 2012 was going to be a big year for me, I just couldn't predict what was going to happen.
When I was in high school, I took this online test that predicted when you were going to get married. The results said September 2012. That didn't happen this year, but here some things that did:
I can feel my stress melting away as Christmas approaches. I'm really looking forward to celebrating Tesla's first Christmas with everyone. I think it's going to be very fun.
After Christmas is over I will be posting my annual My Resolutions post. Stay tuned kids! 2012's not over yet!
When I was in high school, I took this online test that predicted when you were going to get married. The results said September 2012. That didn't happen this year, but here some things that did:
- January: Started the year off right and got pregnant with a broken collar bone. I stop taking Lithium.
- February: Collar bone still hasn't healed properly. The pregnancy has made me feel very ill every day. Bob goes back to school.
- March: Still really sick. Collar bone still hasn't healed properly.
- April: I missed my birthday because I was extremely ill and going through a manic period. Supposedly my collar bone should be healed by now, but I can't get an x-ray because I've had too many in last 6 months and I'm pregnant.
- May: Finally the sickness has passed and I start looking for a job. No one wants to hire a pregnant lady though.
- June: My friend Jessica gets me a job as a substitute at the daycare she works at. Holy lifesaver! My best friend gets pregnant again!
- July: I'm a bridesmaid in my friend's wedding.
- August: Maid of Honour in my best friend's wedding. Bob and I get into a huge fight and almost break up.
- September: Tesla is born 5 weeks early. We just moved into a new apartment and nothing's unpacked or set up yet. Everyone hauled ass while I ate pudding at the hospital for a week. My awesome heterosexual life mate, Carly, comes all the way from Regina to be with me and help out. I also quit breast-feeding to go back on Lithium.
- October: Bob graduates from Robertson College. My friend gives birth to a girl! I got food poisoning. I got so drunk at Halloween I don't even know what happened for most of the night.
- November: For Bob's birthday we go to a Neil Young/Crazy Horse concert. Tesla gets thrush. I get a job working in a home daycare.
- December: Bob finally gets a job! Tesla gets Tourniquet Toe and we have to go to the ER. My collar bone still hurts. My dad gets a hair cut, after growing it out for nearly 15 years!
I can feel my stress melting away as Christmas approaches. I'm really looking forward to celebrating Tesla's first Christmas with everyone. I think it's going to be very fun.
After Christmas is over I will be posting my annual My Resolutions post. Stay tuned kids! 2012's not over yet!
Saturday, December 8, 2012
Mary Kay Recruit
When I was pregnant, I signed up for Welcome Wagon to come deliver a basket of baby stuff to my house. There was actually some great stuff in there! One of things was a free pampering session with Mary Kay. By "free pampering session" they actually mean they want you to host a party. I never called and inevitably, she called me pressuring me to book a party. I did. I wasn't even going to invite anyone, but she said it would be more fun if I did, so I reluctantly invited a few people.
The party was a success. We had food and wine and got a free makeover. I bought some new makeup I can't afford. The next day, the Rep came over and dropped off my friend's purchase she had made. She also gave me some literature about becoming an Independent Beauty Consultant.
She complimented me and said she noticed how driven and confident I was. I would make a wonderful beauty consultant! She really thought I had great potential and that this was something I could be very successful at, especially with all my "flexible" time. It was all very flattering, but I knew she was buttering me up. All the reps at all the parties I've ever been to say all the same lines. I took the papers and told her I'd think about it.
Then I went and did my research. I visited the Canadian Mary Kay website. I looked through everything and didn't notice much real information. Then I found a website that was very helpful called Pink Truth. It's a site dedicated to warning people about the downfalls of selling Mary Kay products. It's very fascinating and I read through the whole site three times.
The one thing I was most interested in was the legal agreement which I found on Pink Truth. I read through the entire thing and one sentence was extremely crucial.
I emailed my findings to the rep trying to recruit me and told her that the risks outweigh the benefits for me because we're a one income, one car family with a baby. Of course she emailed me back wanting to meet in person, wanting to talk some more. She could show me how easy it is to make money. I emailed her back saying I've already done the math and I've already read the agreement and I'm still not interested, but when I need some more Mary Kay, I'll give her a shout.
She didn't email me again, so that was a relief.
As a side note: I don't have my own car and I have a baby. How exactly did she figure my time was flexible? It's quite the opposite really.
Anyway, anyone thinking about selling make-up, candles, jewellery, sex toys, or even Tupperware, do your research and find out what it's really going to cost you. All these companies are the same and use the same pyramid scheme to make money.
The party was a success. We had food and wine and got a free makeover. I bought some new makeup I can't afford. The next day, the Rep came over and dropped off my friend's purchase she had made. She also gave me some literature about becoming an Independent Beauty Consultant.
She complimented me and said she noticed how driven and confident I was. I would make a wonderful beauty consultant! She really thought I had great potential and that this was something I could be very successful at, especially with all my "flexible" time. It was all very flattering, but I knew she was buttering me up. All the reps at all the parties I've ever been to say all the same lines. I took the papers and told her I'd think about it.
Then I went and did my research. I visited the Canadian Mary Kay website. I looked through everything and didn't notice much real information. Then I found a website that was very helpful called Pink Truth. It's a site dedicated to warning people about the downfalls of selling Mary Kay products. It's very fascinating and I read through the whole site three times.
The one thing I was most interested in was the legal agreement which I found on Pink Truth. I read through the entire thing and one sentence was extremely crucial.
"An Independent Beauty Consultant is considered “active” in the month a minimum $200 wholesale Section 1 product order is received by the Company and in the following two calendar months."How a consultant gets paid is by buying products wholesale, selling the products for retail prices, and then keeping the difference. So, every 3 months, she must purchase $200 worth of product and then sell that product for $400. All that does is make her break even. She would have to sell even more to make any money.
I emailed my findings to the rep trying to recruit me and told her that the risks outweigh the benefits for me because we're a one income, one car family with a baby. Of course she emailed me back wanting to meet in person, wanting to talk some more. She could show me how easy it is to make money. I emailed her back saying I've already done the math and I've already read the agreement and I'm still not interested, but when I need some more Mary Kay, I'll give her a shout.
She didn't email me again, so that was a relief.
As a side note: I don't have my own car and I have a baby. How exactly did she figure my time was flexible? It's quite the opposite really.
Anyway, anyone thinking about selling make-up, candles, jewellery, sex toys, or even Tupperware, do your research and find out what it's really going to cost you. All these companies are the same and use the same pyramid scheme to make money.
Saturday, December 1, 2012
A Near Perfect Meal Plan
Tesla has been on this earth for just more than 12 weeks and I have actually gained back half the baby weight I initially lost right after she was born. I can pinpoint exactly when I started to gain weight - when Bob graduated from school. He's been home ever since and his horrible eating habits have rubbed off on me big time.
He's a compulsive, unhealthy snacker and he knows it. He brings me down with his habits because the temptations are all there, especially when he goes out shopping and brings back junk food I never would have bought for myself and says he's got a special treat for us. It honestly has driven me nuts ever since I met him, yet I still eat right along with him.
Anyway, I have stop blaming Bob. I'm done living like he does and I'm making a conscious decision to stop today. He will try to sabotage me without realizing it, but my will power will stay strong because losing this baby weight is important to me. Plus, anything in the cupboards I don't want around will get thrown into the deep freeze or garbage.
At first I didn't mind my new full figure, but when I stare at my naked body in the mirror, or look at pictures of myself before getting pregnant, I feel like I'm not living up to my full potential. I know I can look better because I used to look great! This "new-mom-glow" thing just isn't cutting it anymore.
Finding a proper diet and exercise plan is important to reach my weight-loss goals. I went on Calorie Count to help devise a meal plan that I would be able to stick to, and that would also meet all my nutritional needs. After punching in every single food I plan to eat in a day, it spat out a nutritional analysis of the day. I had to tweak it slightly to lower my carb intake and raise my calcium and potassium intake, but after that, almost every vitamin and mineral was right on target according to the standard guidelines. I'll need to take an iron supplement, but I take one anyway. Also, my sugar intake is kind of high, but that's because I'm eating so much fruit and will be indulging in a cup of chocolate milk every day.
This low-calorie diet seems nearly perfect on paper. See for yourself with this screen shot I took.
I decided to start this diet December 1st because I figured most others would only be starting their diets January 1st. With a month long head start, perhaps by the time New Year's Eve comes, I can say that I resolve to continue my weight loss journey as opposed to just starting one. Resolving to lose weight is so cliche.
Diet or no diet, I'm still stuffing my face silly Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, but until then, I'm making a vow, here on Blogger, to stay true to this meal plan.
Cheers, to healthy living!
He's a compulsive, unhealthy snacker and he knows it. He brings me down with his habits because the temptations are all there, especially when he goes out shopping and brings back junk food I never would have bought for myself and says he's got a special treat for us. It honestly has driven me nuts ever since I met him, yet I still eat right along with him.
Anyway, I have stop blaming Bob. I'm done living like he does and I'm making a conscious decision to stop today. He will try to sabotage me without realizing it, but my will power will stay strong because losing this baby weight is important to me. Plus, anything in the cupboards I don't want around will get thrown into the deep freeze or garbage.
At first I didn't mind my new full figure, but when I stare at my naked body in the mirror, or look at pictures of myself before getting pregnant, I feel like I'm not living up to my full potential. I know I can look better because I used to look great! This "new-mom-glow" thing just isn't cutting it anymore.
Finding a proper diet and exercise plan is important to reach my weight-loss goals. I went on Calorie Count to help devise a meal plan that I would be able to stick to, and that would also meet all my nutritional needs. After punching in every single food I plan to eat in a day, it spat out a nutritional analysis of the day. I had to tweak it slightly to lower my carb intake and raise my calcium and potassium intake, but after that, almost every vitamin and mineral was right on target according to the standard guidelines. I'll need to take an iron supplement, but I take one anyway. Also, my sugar intake is kind of high, but that's because I'm eating so much fruit and will be indulging in a cup of chocolate milk every day.
This low-calorie diet seems nearly perfect on paper. See for yourself with this screen shot I took.
 |
| My daily analysis from Calorie Count |
I decided to start this diet December 1st because I figured most others would only be starting their diets January 1st. With a month long head start, perhaps by the time New Year's Eve comes, I can say that I resolve to continue my weight loss journey as opposed to just starting one. Resolving to lose weight is so cliche.
Diet or no diet, I'm still stuffing my face silly Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, but until then, I'm making a vow, here on Blogger, to stay true to this meal plan.
Cheers, to healthy living!
Monday, November 26, 2012
(Anti) Bullying
I am so sick of reading about anti-bullying campaigns. I just don't care anymore. It is in the news so often and I'm going to be really honest, I think it's a waste of time.
They always say in all the articles bullying shouldn't be a right of passage anymore. I think that statement is false. Bullying is a part of life and I believe it can make you stronger in certain instances, for example, when you overcome it. Perhaps I'm not the best person to write on this subject because I can count on one hand the number of times I felt bullied and I know there are people who have lost track of how many times they felt they were being bullied. But, there is a difference between bullying and harassment.
These teens that commit suicide because of "bullying" were more likely being harassed. Small amounts of bullying, even every day, can wear you down over time and lower your self-esteem, but to get to the point of suicide, there has to be some serious stuff going on in that teen's life, maybe even stuff not related to school at all! To get to the point where you've lost all coping skills takes time.
How about instead of going on and on about all these bullshit anti-bullying rules, (which probably aren't even going to help) why not spend that money on properly counseling students who feel bullied? And I don't mean using the shitty school guidance counselor who took a one year course. Get a real therapist in there! Teach these kids coping skills so when the psychological warfare starts they have the tools they'll need to overcome the abuse.
You can't cure a bully. A bully isn't going to have a light-bulb go off in his/her head after watching a Powerpoint presentation in the school gymnasium, and think, oh man, I'm a huge asshole. I should try to be nicer to people. All this anti-bullying crap is just a deterrent and doesn't alter the actual bullies.
But you can cure a person will low self-esteem. You can build that person up again and help them see that they are better and stronger than their bullies. One day they'll be strong enough to shrug those bullies off and know the truth about themselves. One day the psychological warfare will end because the bullies run out of ammo when they see you're not affected by them.
Some girls in high school used to call me "Nigger Lips." I was self-conscious about it when I first heard them say that because I had never felt there was anything wrong with my lips. Their goal was to make me feel bad about myself. Good thing I had a boy that told me I had beautiful, luscious, kissable lips and that he preferred full lips to thin ones. The next time they called me nigger lips, I rolled my eyes because it was the stupidest thing. That was their one complaint about me and it wasn't even a bad thing.
That's the power of a confidence boost. Bullies attack the weak. When the weak become strong, there won't be anyone left to bully, so who gives a shit about deterring bullies with legislation and rules?
They always say in all the articles bullying shouldn't be a right of passage anymore. I think that statement is false. Bullying is a part of life and I believe it can make you stronger in certain instances, for example, when you overcome it. Perhaps I'm not the best person to write on this subject because I can count on one hand the number of times I felt bullied and I know there are people who have lost track of how many times they felt they were being bullied. But, there is a difference between bullying and harassment.
These teens that commit suicide because of "bullying" were more likely being harassed. Small amounts of bullying, even every day, can wear you down over time and lower your self-esteem, but to get to the point of suicide, there has to be some serious stuff going on in that teen's life, maybe even stuff not related to school at all! To get to the point where you've lost all coping skills takes time.
How about instead of going on and on about all these bullshit anti-bullying rules, (which probably aren't even going to help) why not spend that money on properly counseling students who feel bullied? And I don't mean using the shitty school guidance counselor who took a one year course. Get a real therapist in there! Teach these kids coping skills so when the psychological warfare starts they have the tools they'll need to overcome the abuse.
You can't cure a bully. A bully isn't going to have a light-bulb go off in his/her head after watching a Powerpoint presentation in the school gymnasium, and think, oh man, I'm a huge asshole. I should try to be nicer to people. All this anti-bullying crap is just a deterrent and doesn't alter the actual bullies.
But you can cure a person will low self-esteem. You can build that person up again and help them see that they are better and stronger than their bullies. One day they'll be strong enough to shrug those bullies off and know the truth about themselves. One day the psychological warfare will end because the bullies run out of ammo when they see you're not affected by them.
Some girls in high school used to call me "Nigger Lips." I was self-conscious about it when I first heard them say that because I had never felt there was anything wrong with my lips. Their goal was to make me feel bad about myself. Good thing I had a boy that told me I had beautiful, luscious, kissable lips and that he preferred full lips to thin ones. The next time they called me nigger lips, I rolled my eyes because it was the stupidest thing. That was their one complaint about me and it wasn't even a bad thing.
That's the power of a confidence boost. Bullies attack the weak. When the weak become strong, there won't be anyone left to bully, so who gives a shit about deterring bullies with legislation and rules?
