Psychiatric Testing

I've been asked to get psychiatric testing done. It is presumed that I have either Borderline Personality disorder or Bipolar disorder. I show multiple symptoms for each, but not all. I have yet to do anything about it. A part of me thinks that I won't do anything about it because everyone is so med-happy; I just don't want to go on medication again.

Correction: I don't want to go on medication that will affect my sex life.

All the side effects absolutely worry me. Not just sexual ones, but for everything. They fuck with your organs and present new problems that weren't there before. Your body's natural system is being tampered with and even though your body's natural system isn't the classic normal way that it "should" be, the meds still mess with things that are working just fine.

I have a really big problem with that. That's why I don't take birth control pills. That's why I avoid most over the counter drugs, even cold and flu. That's why I try everything natural first. I try different home remedies until I find something that works. If all that fails then I will go to the doctor for a prescription.

Yes, I want to feel normal... Yes, I've tried the natural way... I have too much anxiety. My work and relationships are being affected. However, I don't want to go to the doctor and I don't want to get tested. I can't afford the pills they'll make me take. The side effects will just cause more problems and I'll have to pay for more prescriptions I can't afford to treat the side effects. I have zero health benefits at work.

I don't want to deal with this right now. It's too stressful. I'll do it when I'm ready.